The Future of Sulani | 17

As San Myshuno descends into a dreary and bitterly cold winter and Nani spends more days without Noelani than with them, she can no longer ignore the sadness tugging at her heart. Every morning she wakes to find Noelani's side of the bed empty, its pull grows stronger. It's not only the gray skies and snow blanketing the ground that's making life feel so much less vibrant these days.

Even catching the briefest glimpse of an advertisement for the latest blockbuster romance sends Nani into a depressive spiral that leaves her in a funk for the rest of the day. She once believed she and Noelani had the perfect love story, but now that stage of their relationship feels like it's fading farther and farther away.

But what is she supposed to do? She can hardly ask Noelani to give up the dream they've worked so long and hard to achieve. At the same time, she can't be expected to give up on her own passions, which are keeping her firmly rooted in San Myshuno for the foreseeable future. It's not like she can be a good representative for the city's citizens and follow Noelani halfway around the world at the same time, even though she wishes it could be that easy. If only it were possible for her to be two places at once!

For now, all she can do is find things to distract herself from her loneliness until Noelani returns home. Luckily, being on the campaign trail means there are always more votes to gather, and Nani is determined to do whatever it takes to accrue them. In an attempt to further prove that she's a true voice for the people, she and her team have decided GeekCon is the perfect venue for her to make her platform known and rally up more support.

Before she can convince potential voters that she's the ideal candidate for taking on the causes she's fighting for, she has to convince them to care about these causes in the first place. Staging a protest against some of the city's current anti-environmentalist policies seems like the quickest, most visible route to getting people fired up.

Nani expected a few people might stop and stare long enough for her ideas to subconsciously plant themselves inside their heads, but she didn't expect so many would be eager to drop everything and begin protesting loudly alongside her. Apparently, the GeekCon crowd, underneath their various nerdy pop culture costumes, are more politically-inclined than she was giving them credit for.

A couple hours later, when the protest finally begins to die down, she finds an entire line of admiring and grateful citizens waiting to shake her hand and give her the promise of their votes. She might stand a real chance at this city council seat after all!

Younger GeekCon attendees are more apt to ask her for a selfie than a handshake, like she's a proper celebrity they can't wait to gush about bumping into to all their Simstagram followers. For a moment, she gets a taste of what Noelani must be experiencing on a daily basis. By the time she meets everyone, it's getting dark out, the event is coming to a close, and Nani is satisfied but exhausted.

But the very next day, she's up and at them once again, this time appealing to the city's more traditional occupants with a slightly less radical but no less galvanizing speech in the bustling Fashion District. Halfway through her speech, she remembers their first trip to San Myshuno so long ago, how Noelani brought her to this exact podium to convince her that she could do as much - if not more - good for the world here as she could in Sulani. An exhilarated shiver courses up Nani's spine, and she finishes the speech strong.

Soon enough, the days have passed, and Noelani is back home from their latest jaunt to Del Sol Valley, or was it Windenburg this time, or Britechester, Oasis Springs? Nani can't tell one trip from the other any more. But this time, upon Noelani's return, things feel different. The sparks that usually fly between them seem to have fizzled out. In fact, they barely even talk, except about bland and menial household things, like the washer that's been on the fritz.

Noelani is perpetually grumpy and irritable, seemingly no longer able to stand the routine normalcy of married life when compared to the thrill of touring the world, where there's surely never a dull moment between the camera flashes and fluorescent club lights, bass pumping from speakers cranked all the way up, and eager fans swarming and swooning around every corner.

Nani feels guilty and miserable, like she should be trying harder to keep Noelani satisfied. But that's the problem. Before, all it ever took to keep Noelani satisfied was simply being there. Now, that no longer seems to be enough. Besides that, there's been an ominous sensation of nausea settling in her stomach lately, and she's afraid to confirm her suspicions about its probable cause. She's afraid of what Noelani's reaction will be if her suspicions turn out to be true. Well, either way, she has time to figure it out. Noelani announces at breakfast that they'll be heading back to Del Sol Valley in just a few days.

There's no denying Noelani has gotten a bit swept away by their newfound celebrity lifestyle. But who wouldn't? It's hard not to let it go to your head when people are constantly shouting your name and you're given the five-star treatment at the hottest venues in every town. All of a sudden, they're snacking on caviar like it's cheese and crackers, without wasting a single thought on the exorbitant expense. It all comes out of the record label's pocket now anyway, and they don't seem to mind footing the bill. As long as Noelani's making a profit for them, they're happy.

These days, the hours before each show are spent holding meet-and-greets with the most devoted among Noelani's fans or at least those with deep enough pockets to purchase the VIP package. Sometimes, Noelani can't be certain if they're actual fans of their work or just bored rich kids who want photos to post for clout on Simstagram and stories to impress their friends.

Most nights, the lines of people seem endless, and even as they spend less and less time engaging in genuine interaction with each fan, more often than not snapping a quick selfie or scribbling a hasty autograph before sending them on their way, they still barely manage to get through everyone before it's time for the show to begin.

And while performing is still what Noelani enjoys doing most, especially when their music evokes meaningful emotion in its listeners, they feel like the show is over in a flash, and then it's back to everything but the music. They barely have time anymore to work on new stuff. As appreciative as they are of the success, they've started having nightmares of being stuck on loop, constantly playing the exact same set over and over again for eternity.

The fans don't seem to mind the repetitiveness. They still cheer and shout and clap at the end of each show like they've witnessed something truly revelatory. But Noelani can't help but wonder, Is this all there is? They'd thought they wanted to be famous, but more and more it appears as though the fame and the craft are two separate things. Can they possibly coexist peacefully, or will Noelani be forced to choose one or the other? They had tried a million times back home to start this conversation with Nani, but they barely knew where to begin. It was impossible to put their complicated feelings into words.

Meanwhile, Nani's bouts of nausea are only getting worse, and she can no longer deny what she knows is probably true: she's pregnant. She and Noelani haven't exactly been trying for a baby, but they haven't not been trying either. They've talked about wanting to start a family someday, but now seems like the absolute worst time. How can they possibly balance raising a child with all of their career obligations?

To make matters worse, after a day of intense campaigning, Nani receives an unexpected call from Noelani's father, and she can sense immediately by the downcast tone of his voice that it's bad news. "What's going on?" she asks hesitantly, a lump already forming in her throat.

"I can't get through to Noelani. My calls keep going straight to voicemail." There's a slight quaver in his words, as though he's barely holding back tears. He takes a deep breath, bracing for what he's about to say. "Oh, Nani," he sighs heavily. "Gaby is gone. She passed in her sleep last night, peacefully, thank goodness."

Nani gasps involuntarily. "No!" she exclaims. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I can't believe it." Her eyes, brimming with tears, wander to the calendar hanging on the wall, today's date circled. She can't believe she's forgotten that Noelani is scheduled to return tonight. "I think Noelani's on a plane right now," she tells Alvin. "I'll break the news when they get home. God, they're going to be devastated. I'll tell them to call you as soon as they can."

Hours later, when Noelani finally arrives, Nani is in the bathroom again, staring bleakly down at the positive pregnancy test in her hand. If a baby seemed like bad timing before, now the timing seems catastrophic. Noelani bursts in, overjoyed to be back home, but halts abruptly when they notice the miserable expression clouding Nani's face. All Nani can do is tentatively hand over the pregnancy test like she's giving Noelani a live bomb.

Noelani takes the test, brow furrowed questioningly. When they see the plus sign, realization dawns in their eyes. "This is amazing!" they exclaim, unable to contain their excitement. Then they look back at Nani in confusion. "Wait, what's wrong? This is good news, isn't it?"

While Nani is relieved by Noelani's reaction to her pregnancy, her heart is heavy with the knowledge of Gaby's death. It will crush Noelani entirely and completely overshadow what should be one of the happiest moments of their lives. All of a sudden, speech seems to have escaped her entirely. She can only sit there in stunned silence.

Noelani can't help but interpret Nani's speechlessness as trepidation about the impending growth of their family. "I know we haven't really talked about this, but I think we're ready," they insist. "I know we can do it! I've already been thinking about taking a break. Gig life is fun, but it's not exactly something I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I want to be here with you. I want us to really feel like a family. Sure, it's a surprise, but maybe it's exactly what we need to propel us into the next chapter of our lives. We've been too afraid to talk about it, but I know neither of us is very satisfied with where things are lately."

Involuntarily, Nani's face collapses under the weight of her suppressed tears. "I agree with everything you're saying! I want to be happy about this! But it's not about us right now. It's... it's..."

"It's what?" Noelani demands.

"It's your mom! Noelani, she's dead!" Nani covers her mouth with her hands, not meaning to have revealed the truth so bluntly. "Your dad called earlier and told me. I'm so sorry, babe."

After several unbearable moments of silence, Noelani rushes out of the bathroom. Nani gives them a few minutes alone to process the news and then finds them in the bedroom, red-eyed and wet-cheeked. She sits down gingerly beside them.

"I should've visited more," Noelani says, voice scratchy from crying. "Why didn't I visit more? I was so busy playing rock star that I never even realized how little I've seen my family in the past few years! I didn't even know she was that close to the end. Damn it, I should've been there to say goodbye!"

"You couldn't have known," Nani murmurs. "She was always healthy. No one could have predicted it."

Noelani pulls their phone from their pocket and begins scrolling through their contacts. "I have to talk to my dad."

"Why don't you tell him we'll leave on the next flight?"

Noelani sniffles, glancing up at Nani hopefully. "Really? But you have a campaign to run. The election is only a couple weeks away. And I... I have shows to play, interviews, photo shoots." Their face falls. "God, Nani, I'm so fucking tired."

Nani smiles and squeezes Noelani's thigh reassuringly. "We're the ones in control, remember? If you call everything off, I will, too." Noelani is quiet again, considering. "Come on. We need to be there, and we need time to decompress from... all of this." She gestures meaningfully toward the window, the sprawling, noisy, indefatigable city.

"You're right." Noelani finds their dad's number and presses the call button. "Book the tickets," they command, their voice suddenly steely with resolve. "We're going home."