Road to Selvadorada VI
Previously: Aisha and Shawn discovered what they've been after all along in Selvadorada - an ancient hidden temple. Unfortunately, they had to leave the jungle for a quick return to civilization before they could fully uncover its treasures. Meanwhile, Nadia took a break from caring for Gideon to attend a party and immediately fell asleep on a bench.
All right, let's get back to digging up some artifacts! Aisha has upgraded from being hesitant about using that hammer to fully taking charge of it.
Meanwhile, Shawn is getting a head start on figuring out how to get to the next level of the temple - and guess what? It involves more potentially deadly skeletons!
Confound it, indeed!
Maybe he'll have better luck with this rather imposing guy...
Well, it's not ideal, but I guess we can work with it.
Aisha: What am I looking at here? I have no idea what's going on. All I know is it feels like this terrifyingly large stone man is staring directly into my soul.
Aisha: Yeah, good luck with that, honey! Hope you don't die or anything!
She's just going to take a refreshing shower while she waits it out...
And maybe take a refreshing snooze in a bush, too. I think she's finally got this wilderness living thing down!
Meanwhile, Dakota has desecrated the sanctity of this ancient religious site by taking a poop and promptly falling asleep right next to it. Lovely.
Oh god, I don't think Shawn has pleased the ancients! He may find his joke funny, but Big Stone Man does not agree.
Shawn: FUCK YOU, STONE BOY! YOU WILL LAUGH AT MY JOKES - OR ELSE!
Things just go from bad to worse when he tries his luck with his old skeleton buddies instead and one of them quickly shoots him in the neck with a dart. Rude!
Fuck, it was a poison dart, too! This is definitely not good.
Luckily, he remembered some rumors he heard about ancient bone dust being an effective antidote, and he just happens to have some in his inventory from his digs, so after fleeing in record time from the jungle, he asks this kind village lady to help him convert it into a drinkable form.
Ah, yes, that hits the spot! He should be back to normal in no time.
Unfortunately, even though he managed to save himself, Aisha is still pretty pissed off at him for putting himself in so much danger in the first place. It's really put this trip into perspective for her, and now she knows the best thing for her to do is go home and see Gideon before he grows up into an unrecognizable child without her.
Aisha: And you, mister, are going to stay here and contemplate your actions until you understand where you went wrong! If I hear from anyone that you've been out in the jungle alone while I'm gone, it is over, understand?!?
Random Local Woman: Well, it sure is a lovely day today, isn't it?
Nadia will be overjoyed to hear about Aisha's pending return because she's just about over Gideon's frequent potty accidents that she has to clean up after.
And Gideon's just about over being separated from his mom! He has to make due with her pet fish instead, and that's not a proper replacement at all!
Nadia: Your flight just got in? THANK GOD! I am desperate for someone to take this hell child... I mean, totally adorable and well-behaved little boy... off my hands!
This mother/son reunion is so precious, I absolutely cannot stand it!!!
Also, I wasn't joking when I said Gideon's about to grow up! It's literally going to happen in two minutes. Are you ready?
Nadia: Wow, I did such a great job raising that boy. Any accomplishments of his from now until forever can hereby be credited solely to me.
Meanwhile, Shawn is back in Selvadorada uncovering some artifacts while Thinking About What He's Done. I feel kind of bad that he missed out on Gideon's birthday, but it's less because I'm being willfully cruel and more because somebody had to stay behind not to lose progress on the temple. So it goes.
Anyway, Aisha thinks he's done enough penance. She's ready to return (for being such a seemingly remote location, Selvadorada sure has enough flights come in and out at all times), and she may bring some special guests along with her...
Nadia: This boy can't go to the jungle! He has homework to finish before he starts school on Monday! Do you really want to tamper with his education?!?
Gideon: Oh, I am going to Selvadorada, and you can't stop me!!!
I think Nadia might be projecting her own fear of dying in the jungle onto Gideon, who is far too brave to care about anything stupid like that. He takes after his dad that way.
This father/son reunion is so precious, I absolutely cannot stand it!!! (Yes, I recycled this caption, what are you going to do about it?)
Shawn is so stoked to show Gideon the jungle photos he's taken on his phone.
Shawn: And the real thing is even more glorious, son!
Gideon may be filled with joy and wonderment as he stands at the gates of green paradise, but Nadia is less enthused. She's not much of an outdoorswoman. She'd much rather be back at home playing chess or woodworking or partying with her friends right now.
Look at this boy bounding fearlessly across a rickety suspended rope bridge. I love him!!!
Nadia: Ugh, gross. There are, like, real bugs out here and everything? And you people actually like this?
Much like Aisha on her first trip to the jungle, Nadia is too overwhelmed by all the nature surrounding her and has to take a brief lie-down to reorient herself.
Oh, but suddenly she's up and at 'em again when Gideon whips out his phone for a quick selfie. Wait... this kid already has a phone? When did Nadia manage to slip him that?
Nadia: THERE ARE SPIDERS NOW?!? NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! I WANT OUT OF HERE!
Look at Gideon having a grand old time with the toy car he's been hiding in his pocket! Let me reiterate: I love this boy!!!
Anyway, back to the ol' booby traps. Guess what? Nobody has any idea what they're doing still! It's all just trial and error! They're going to die here, their bodies never to be recovered, for sure!
Shawn: Nope, this guy on the opposite end does not like me either. What is their deal?!?
Finally! Aisha makes a wild guess, and it's the right one. (To be fair, there were only about two options left, so the odds were pretty heavily in her favor this time.)
Good news: I think things are looking up. I feel good about their chances from here on out.
Aisha: Babe, you can stop messing with those skeletons now. My personal sun and I just got us through to the next level.
MADELINE, WE ARE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
Nadia: Is that a skeleton in there? Because I am definitely not about to share a room with a skeleton.
Aw, come on, he looks pretty friendly to me!
Speaking of skeletons, Shawn is apparently shaking hands with one through a hole right now? Is that a good or bad thing?
Bad, it looks like. Abort! Abort!
Whew, no skeleton hand this time. I think we're in the clear.
Meanwhile, Nadia has given up even the illusion of trying to be helpful and has just decided to go for a leisurely swim instead. Nothing terrifying can happen to her now, right?
OH SHIT, THE SKELETONS HAVE COME ALIVE! GIDEON, STOP ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!
Shawn: Honey, either I'm having a heatstroke-induced hallucination right now, or there's a skeleton sitting between us.
Shawn: Definitely a hallucination. Just, uh... don't look behind you.
Aisha: Why?
Shawn: Oh, no reason in particular. Now, dig for your life!
At last, they make it to the final room, and it's gorgeous. Not to mention occupied by a huge treasure chest that's just begging to be raided.
Two treasure chests, even! All the near-death encounters are finally about to pay off.
Shawn: I'm a rich man, baby! We're officially set for life!
WHAT?!? But she has a personal sun! How dare the gods just take that away from her.
Just kidding. Those lightning bugs tried it, but between her protective sun and her high-level Selvadoradian knowledge, they were no match for jungle queen Aisha!
SUCCESS!!!
But how can they possibly go back to an everyday humdrum existence now that they've experienced the breathtaking beauty and bountiful generosity of Selvadorada?
All right, let's get back to digging up some artifacts! Aisha has upgraded from being hesitant about using that hammer to fully taking charge of it.
Meanwhile, Shawn is getting a head start on figuring out how to get to the next level of the temple - and guess what? It involves more potentially deadly skeletons!
Confound it, indeed!
Maybe he'll have better luck with this rather imposing guy...
Well, it's not ideal, but I guess we can work with it.
Aisha: What am I looking at here? I have no idea what's going on. All I know is it feels like this terrifyingly large stone man is staring directly into my soul.
Aisha: Yeah, good luck with that, honey! Hope you don't die or anything!
She's just going to take a refreshing shower while she waits it out...
And maybe take a refreshing snooze in a bush, too. I think she's finally got this wilderness living thing down!
Meanwhile, Dakota has desecrated the sanctity of this ancient religious site by taking a poop and promptly falling asleep right next to it. Lovely.
Oh god, I don't think Shawn has pleased the ancients! He may find his joke funny, but Big Stone Man does not agree.
Shawn: FUCK YOU, STONE BOY! YOU WILL LAUGH AT MY JOKES - OR ELSE!
Things just go from bad to worse when he tries his luck with his old skeleton buddies instead and one of them quickly shoots him in the neck with a dart. Rude!
Fuck, it was a poison dart, too! This is definitely not good.
Luckily, he remembered some rumors he heard about ancient bone dust being an effective antidote, and he just happens to have some in his inventory from his digs, so after fleeing in record time from the jungle, he asks this kind village lady to help him convert it into a drinkable form.
Ah, yes, that hits the spot! He should be back to normal in no time.
Unfortunately, even though he managed to save himself, Aisha is still pretty pissed off at him for putting himself in so much danger in the first place. It's really put this trip into perspective for her, and now she knows the best thing for her to do is go home and see Gideon before he grows up into an unrecognizable child without her.
Aisha: And you, mister, are going to stay here and contemplate your actions until you understand where you went wrong! If I hear from anyone that you've been out in the jungle alone while I'm gone, it is over, understand?!?
Random Local Woman: Well, it sure is a lovely day today, isn't it?
Nadia will be overjoyed to hear about Aisha's pending return because she's just about over Gideon's frequent potty accidents that she has to clean up after.
And Gideon's just about over being separated from his mom! He has to make due with her pet fish instead, and that's not a proper replacement at all!
Nadia: Your flight just got in? THANK GOD! I am desperate for someone to take this hell child... I mean, totally adorable and well-behaved little boy... off my hands!
This mother/son reunion is so precious, I absolutely cannot stand it!!!
Also, I wasn't joking when I said Gideon's about to grow up! It's literally going to happen in two minutes. Are you ready?
Nadia: Wow, I did such a great job raising that boy. Any accomplishments of his from now until forever can hereby be credited solely to me.
Meanwhile, Shawn is back in Selvadorada uncovering some artifacts while Thinking About What He's Done. I feel kind of bad that he missed out on Gideon's birthday, but it's less because I'm being willfully cruel and more because somebody had to stay behind not to lose progress on the temple. So it goes.
Anyway, Aisha thinks he's done enough penance. She's ready to return (for being such a seemingly remote location, Selvadorada sure has enough flights come in and out at all times), and she may bring some special guests along with her...
Nadia: This boy can't go to the jungle! He has homework to finish before he starts school on Monday! Do you really want to tamper with his education?!?
Gideon: Oh, I am going to Selvadorada, and you can't stop me!!!
I think Nadia might be projecting her own fear of dying in the jungle onto Gideon, who is far too brave to care about anything stupid like that. He takes after his dad that way.
This father/son reunion is so precious, I absolutely cannot stand it!!! (Yes, I recycled this caption, what are you going to do about it?)
Shawn is so stoked to show Gideon the jungle photos he's taken on his phone.
Shawn: And the real thing is even more glorious, son!
Gideon may be filled with joy and wonderment as he stands at the gates of green paradise, but Nadia is less enthused. She's not much of an outdoorswoman. She'd much rather be back at home playing chess or woodworking or partying with her friends right now.
Look at this boy bounding fearlessly across a rickety suspended rope bridge. I love him!!!
Nadia: Ugh, gross. There are, like, real bugs out here and everything? And you people actually like this?
Much like Aisha on her first trip to the jungle, Nadia is too overwhelmed by all the nature surrounding her and has to take a brief lie-down to reorient herself.
Oh, but suddenly she's up and at 'em again when Gideon whips out his phone for a quick selfie. Wait... this kid already has a phone? When did Nadia manage to slip him that?
Nadia: THERE ARE SPIDERS NOW?!? NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! I WANT OUT OF HERE!
Look at Gideon having a grand old time with the toy car he's been hiding in his pocket! Let me reiterate: I love this boy!!!
Anyway, back to the ol' booby traps. Guess what? Nobody has any idea what they're doing still! It's all just trial and error! They're going to die here, their bodies never to be recovered, for sure!
Shawn: Nope, this guy on the opposite end does not like me either. What is their deal?!?
Finally! Aisha makes a wild guess, and it's the right one. (To be fair, there were only about two options left, so the odds were pretty heavily in her favor this time.)
Good news: I think things are looking up. I feel good about their chances from here on out.
Aisha: Babe, you can stop messing with those skeletons now. My personal sun and I just got us through to the next level.
MADELINE, WE ARE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
Nadia: Is that a skeleton in there? Because I am definitely not about to share a room with a skeleton.
Aw, come on, he looks pretty friendly to me!
Speaking of skeletons, Shawn is apparently shaking hands with one through a hole right now? Is that a good or bad thing?
Bad, it looks like. Abort! Abort!
Whew, no skeleton hand this time. I think we're in the clear.
Meanwhile, Nadia has given up even the illusion of trying to be helpful and has just decided to go for a leisurely swim instead. Nothing terrifying can happen to her now, right?
OH SHIT, THE SKELETONS HAVE COME ALIVE! GIDEON, STOP ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!
Shawn: Honey, either I'm having a heatstroke-induced hallucination right now, or there's a skeleton sitting between us.
Shawn: Definitely a hallucination. Just, uh... don't look behind you.
Aisha: Why?
Shawn: Oh, no reason in particular. Now, dig for your life!
At last, they make it to the final room, and it's gorgeous. Not to mention occupied by a huge treasure chest that's just begging to be raided.
Two treasure chests, even! All the near-death encounters are finally about to pay off.
Shawn: I'm a rich man, baby! We're officially set for life!
WHAT?!? But she has a personal sun! How dare the gods just take that away from her.
Just kidding. Those lightning bugs tried it, but between her protective sun and her high-level Selvadoradian knowledge, they were no match for jungle queen Aisha!
SUCCESS!!!
But how can they possibly go back to an everyday humdrum existence now that they've experienced the breathtaking beauty and bountiful generosity of Selvadorada?