Family Frenemies VI
Previously: After getting over the grief of losing one of their mothers, Elliot and Aisha went straight back to competing for the spotlight. Aisha attempted to find love but was sidelined by the death of her rescued pet cat, Heidi, although she did meet a man named Shawn who wasn't scared away by her intense feelings about felines. Meanwhile, Elliot enjoyed an impromptu bachelor party on the eve of marrying his beloved, Madeline.
Guess who still hasn't learned her lesson about holding outdoors parties in the dead of winter? This girl right here. Anyway, Elliot and Madeline may be freezing their asses off for the aesthetic of it all, but you can't deny that this is one of the most stunningly scenic weddings you've ever seen.
Elliot: Goddamn! It really is quite nippy out here, isn't it?
Madeline: You think you're cold?!? At least you've got the luxury of sleeves, mister!
Well, they might turn into human popsicles any second now, but at least they'll die of hypothermia happily married!
Despite what it may look like, there are guests at this wedding, but the ones who didn't immediately book it for the safety of the indoors just blankly stood around being totally non-photogenic. Very rude, if you ask me.
I'm really glad the mothers of both the bride and the groom were able to tough the grueling temperatures out to witness their children's union, even in their advanced ages.
Madeline: Okay, Mom, as adorable as it is that you've finally joined the selfie generation, let's get this over with quick before I lose an entire arm to frostbite.
See? I told you! Plenty of guests! Now that they're all safely inside the well-heated venue, it's time to warm up with an expensive glass of vintage red wine for everyone.
Everyone except Jerome, that is. I can't tell if he's sad to be left out of the festivities or disappointed in how enthusiastically all the adults in his life imbibe alcohol. Actually, he's probably just pretty bummed about his mother's death, still. Poor kid just wants to go back to his adopted home, crawl under the covers, and have a good cry.
Let me reiterate how much I love Willow's continuing total obliviousness to her surroundings, no matter what's going on around her. She literally just stood in this same exact spot all night, with eyes for absolutely no one but her wine. Whatever's going on in the world inside her head, I want in.
Who is this horribly dressed random crashing my private wedding party? Get out of here, and take your inappropriate tube top and hideous fedora with you!
Aisha: Excuse me. This is my private hideaway from the horrors of socialization. Who are you?!?
Moses: Oh, you must be Elliot's hot sister he won't shut up about... I mean, do you know who made these cupcakes? Because they're absolutely amazing!
Aisha: Oh my gosh, thank you so much! Finally, someone appreciates my hard work! Wait, what did you just say about hot sisters?
Madeline: Guys! I explicitly told you no cupcakes until after we cut the wedding cake! Now where is that damn husband of mine?...
Someone needs to get Elliot away from the wine ASAP. It looks like he's had one or two too many.
He wouldn't come to the cake, so Madeline had to come to him instead. Clearly, he's barely holding himself upright. I don't know if I would trust him with that fork. Also, there's Willow again, ordering another wine without the faintest clue of what's going on directly in front of her.
Are we sure Willow wasn't switched with an alien baby at birth or something? Because she's acting like she's even less familiar with the bizarre rituals of these strange humans than Madeline, an actual alien.
Now that all of the typical wedding traditions are out of the way, it's time to cheer Jerome up by taking on his suggestion to have a snowman-building contest.
Madeline: I can't believe he got away from me again! If he's passed out drunk in a bush somewhere, I swear to God...
Luckily, he's still conscious, but I guess he got a sudden drunken craving for cheap food stall pizza that he just couldn't resist acting on. That might be on me, actually. I probably should have gotten the party catered with something other than cake.
Finally, he returned to do his part in helping Madeline win the snowman-building contest.
Apparently, he spent the entire time waxing rhapsodical about the pizza because Madeline just had to go off and sample a slice for herself.
Finally, the rest of the guests headed home, and Elliot and Madeline managed to find a secluded spot to canoodle all by themselves now that they're properly dressed to withstand the cold.
How sweet! Now we'd better give them a little privacy before things get steamy enough to melt all that snow...
Back at the house, Aisha apparently had a sudden late night craving for grilled potatoes. I don't know. I've learned not to question her mind. Wait a minute, what's Mallory suddenly look so riled up about?
Oh, no. No, no, no. Hasn't there been enough death around here lately? Aisha's out.
Like, really and truly out. The Grim Reaper even seems sort of disappointed that no one will be there to witness his latest reaping. What's the fun of stealing lives when no one's around to be miserable about it?
Aisha: Oh, potatoes, I fear your tastiness will forever be tainted with the bitter taste of death.
To get Aisha's mind off the household's latest feline death, Allie, loyal wing woman that she is, decided to arrange a little dinner rendezvous with Shawn and Moses, the two strongest contenders for Aisha's heart. Shawn's already making sex eyes at her, so Moses had better catch up fast!
Aisha: Oh my God, you're sooooooo funny! I haven't laughed like this in days!
Moses: Seriously? You actually like this guy's lame jokes? How am I supposed to get on that level of corniness?
Pink Hair: What's going on over there, a real-life version of the Dating Game? How do I get in on this action?!?
Pink Hair's Husband: Oh, honey, you already reserved our table. How wonderful of you!
Aisha: Is this awkward for anyone else? Because it's super awkward for me.
Okay, Moses was already falling a little behind, but this might be the final nail in the coffin. How many times do I have to say no dog lovers allowed?!?
Oh, look, and Shawn's the first one to make a proper attempt at flirting. Sorry, Moses, but you're a dead man walking!
Despite her unflirty trait, I think Aisha likes it!
Oh, now Moses wants to get in on the action. A little late there, buddy.
Aisha: Two men vying for my attention at the same time? I think I could get used to this flirting thing after all!
They migrated to the pub for a refreshing after-dinner beer, and Moses somehow got lost along the way, so I guess that's another point added to Shawn's tally.
Look at that face. Aisha is totally crazy about him, and Allie is so proud of her matchmaking efforts.
As if the night could get any better, Aisha then finds this poor shivering stray wandering the docks.
The recent loss of both Heidi and Mallory still weighing heavy on her heart, she wastes no time befriending him.
His name is King. Forget human men! This is a pet match made in heaven.
Elliot: Oh, hello, strange cat who has suddenly taken up occupancy in our house. Somehow, I'm not at all surprised!
Wow, Shawn must really have the hots for Aisha. He couldn't even go a single night without asking her out again, this time on a solo date.
EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! AISHA IS FEELING VERY FLIRTY FOR POSSIBLY THE FIRST TIME EVER IN HER LIFE! NO MAN IS SAFE!
Our girl is totally transformed. I barely even recognize this new version of Aisha!
She is unstoppable with the entirely out-of-character romantic gestures right now. Shawn is beside himself with lust, I'm sure.
For some reason, her favorite thing to do when under the spell of uncharacteristic flirtiness is to bring out the mistletoe. Seriously, she must have done it half a dozen times in a row. I guess it is kind of close to Christmas, but it's still weird.
I don't think Shawn has a problem with it, though. He's just happy to kiss under any circumstances. Meanwhile, that waiter behind them is either really pissed off about his job or really pissed off about the constant public displays of affection it forces him to witness. Sorry you don't have any romance in your own life, bud! I refuse to let you ruin this momentous occasion.
Guess who still hasn't learned her lesson about holding outdoors parties in the dead of winter? This girl right here. Anyway, Elliot and Madeline may be freezing their asses off for the aesthetic of it all, but you can't deny that this is one of the most stunningly scenic weddings you've ever seen.
Elliot: Goddamn! It really is quite nippy out here, isn't it?
Madeline: You think you're cold?!? At least you've got the luxury of sleeves, mister!
Well, they might turn into human popsicles any second now, but at least they'll die of hypothermia happily married!
Despite what it may look like, there are guests at this wedding, but the ones who didn't immediately book it for the safety of the indoors just blankly stood around being totally non-photogenic. Very rude, if you ask me.
I'm really glad the mothers of both the bride and the groom were able to tough the grueling temperatures out to witness their children's union, even in their advanced ages.
Madeline: Okay, Mom, as adorable as it is that you've finally joined the selfie generation, let's get this over with quick before I lose an entire arm to frostbite.
See? I told you! Plenty of guests! Now that they're all safely inside the well-heated venue, it's time to warm up with an expensive glass of vintage red wine for everyone.
Everyone except Jerome, that is. I can't tell if he's sad to be left out of the festivities or disappointed in how enthusiastically all the adults in his life imbibe alcohol. Actually, he's probably just pretty bummed about his mother's death, still. Poor kid just wants to go back to his adopted home, crawl under the covers, and have a good cry.
Let me reiterate how much I love Willow's continuing total obliviousness to her surroundings, no matter what's going on around her. She literally just stood in this same exact spot all night, with eyes for absolutely no one but her wine. Whatever's going on in the world inside her head, I want in.
Who is this horribly dressed random crashing my private wedding party? Get out of here, and take your inappropriate tube top and hideous fedora with you!
Aisha: Excuse me. This is my private hideaway from the horrors of socialization. Who are you?!?
Moses: Oh, you must be Elliot's hot sister he won't shut up about... I mean, do you know who made these cupcakes? Because they're absolutely amazing!
Aisha: Oh my gosh, thank you so much! Finally, someone appreciates my hard work! Wait, what did you just say about hot sisters?
Madeline: Guys! I explicitly told you no cupcakes until after we cut the wedding cake! Now where is that damn husband of mine?...
Someone needs to get Elliot away from the wine ASAP. It looks like he's had one or two too many.
He wouldn't come to the cake, so Madeline had to come to him instead. Clearly, he's barely holding himself upright. I don't know if I would trust him with that fork. Also, there's Willow again, ordering another wine without the faintest clue of what's going on directly in front of her.
Are we sure Willow wasn't switched with an alien baby at birth or something? Because she's acting like she's even less familiar with the bizarre rituals of these strange humans than Madeline, an actual alien.
Now that all of the typical wedding traditions are out of the way, it's time to cheer Jerome up by taking on his suggestion to have a snowman-building contest.
Madeline: I can't believe he got away from me again! If he's passed out drunk in a bush somewhere, I swear to God...
Luckily, he's still conscious, but I guess he got a sudden drunken craving for cheap food stall pizza that he just couldn't resist acting on. That might be on me, actually. I probably should have gotten the party catered with something other than cake.
Finally, he returned to do his part in helping Madeline win the snowman-building contest.
Apparently, he spent the entire time waxing rhapsodical about the pizza because Madeline just had to go off and sample a slice for herself.
Finally, the rest of the guests headed home, and Elliot and Madeline managed to find a secluded spot to canoodle all by themselves now that they're properly dressed to withstand the cold.
How sweet! Now we'd better give them a little privacy before things get steamy enough to melt all that snow...
Back at the house, Aisha apparently had a sudden late night craving for grilled potatoes. I don't know. I've learned not to question her mind. Wait a minute, what's Mallory suddenly look so riled up about?
Oh, no. No, no, no. Hasn't there been enough death around here lately? Aisha's out.
Like, really and truly out. The Grim Reaper even seems sort of disappointed that no one will be there to witness his latest reaping. What's the fun of stealing lives when no one's around to be miserable about it?
Aisha: Oh, potatoes, I fear your tastiness will forever be tainted with the bitter taste of death.
To get Aisha's mind off the household's latest feline death, Allie, loyal wing woman that she is, decided to arrange a little dinner rendezvous with Shawn and Moses, the two strongest contenders for Aisha's heart. Shawn's already making sex eyes at her, so Moses had better catch up fast!
Aisha: Oh my God, you're sooooooo funny! I haven't laughed like this in days!
Moses: Seriously? You actually like this guy's lame jokes? How am I supposed to get on that level of corniness?
Pink Hair: What's going on over there, a real-life version of the Dating Game? How do I get in on this action?!?
Pink Hair's Husband: Oh, honey, you already reserved our table. How wonderful of you!
Aisha: Is this awkward for anyone else? Because it's super awkward for me.
Okay, Moses was already falling a little behind, but this might be the final nail in the coffin. How many times do I have to say no dog lovers allowed?!?
Oh, look, and Shawn's the first one to make a proper attempt at flirting. Sorry, Moses, but you're a dead man walking!
Despite her unflirty trait, I think Aisha likes it!
Oh, now Moses wants to get in on the action. A little late there, buddy.
Aisha: Two men vying for my attention at the same time? I think I could get used to this flirting thing after all!
They migrated to the pub for a refreshing after-dinner beer, and Moses somehow got lost along the way, so I guess that's another point added to Shawn's tally.
Look at that face. Aisha is totally crazy about him, and Allie is so proud of her matchmaking efforts.
As if the night could get any better, Aisha then finds this poor shivering stray wandering the docks.
The recent loss of both Heidi and Mallory still weighing heavy on her heart, she wastes no time befriending him.
His name is King. Forget human men! This is a pet match made in heaven.
Elliot: Oh, hello, strange cat who has suddenly taken up occupancy in our house. Somehow, I'm not at all surprised!
Wow, Shawn must really have the hots for Aisha. He couldn't even go a single night without asking her out again, this time on a solo date.
EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! AISHA IS FEELING VERY FLIRTY FOR POSSIBLY THE FIRST TIME EVER IN HER LIFE! NO MAN IS SAFE!
Our girl is totally transformed. I barely even recognize this new version of Aisha!
She is unstoppable with the entirely out-of-character romantic gestures right now. Shawn is beside himself with lust, I'm sure.
For some reason, her favorite thing to do when under the spell of uncharacteristic flirtiness is to bring out the mistletoe. Seriously, she must have done it half a dozen times in a row. I guess it is kind of close to Christmas, but it's still weird.
I don't think Shawn has a problem with it, though. He's just happy to kiss under any circumstances. Meanwhile, that waiter behind them is either really pissed off about his job or really pissed off about the constant public displays of affection it forces him to witness. Sorry you don't have any romance in your own life, bud! I refuse to let you ruin this momentous occasion.