Phoebe's World XXIII

Previously: Aahana and Phoebe both entered their golden years, and while Aahana accepted her newfound maturity with serenity and grace, Phoebe greeted hers with an alcohol-fueled existential breakdown.



Reader, I have a stunning revelation to disclose: Willow has been leading an even more interesting life than her toy-obsessed cameos would lead you to believe. Not only does she have a toddler-aged daughter with Allyson Dasilva (who is both Aahana's half-sister and very married to someone who is decidedly not Willow), but she also just gave birth to a son whose father is Aahana's half-brother, Eric. This is a whole mess and a half, and I kind of love it. It also makes me wonder whatever happened to her relationship with Jane's brother, Preston. I guess their whole "no physical contact" romance got old after a while. Anyway, when she called to invite Phoebe over, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for her to meet these unexpected additions to her extended family.


Phoebe: Hey, sis. I guess it's been a while, hasn't it? And who's this little cutie pie?


Her name is Samara, and she looks like a handful already. I wouldn't expect anything less from Willow's offspring.


Phoebe: Do you think one of us should've helped the kid inside? It's been years since I've raised one of those things!
Willow: Oh, don't worry about her! She'll waddle her way in here eventually.


She's already so confident in her ability to navigate even the most difficult terrain.


While she waits on Samara to make it inside, Phoebe introduces herself to her new nephew, whose name is Demario. You know... I wouldn't have chosen it, but I'm sure Willow has her reasons.


The entire time Phoebe paid attention to her children while she did not, Willow stood there with this smug smirk on her face like she was the one doing the nurturing.


You know what? I respect her ability to maintain this level of delusion. In her mind, she's doing amazingly at being a mom right now. I will give her props for Samara's adorable pink superhero cape, though.


After a long day of tending to somebody else's children, Phoebe needs a stiff drink and an invigorating round of flirtation with her wife, in that order.


A couple of drinks in, Phoebe is tipsy enough to start reciting her secret love poetry aloud, and Aahana is living for it.


Aahana: What in the world is this newfangled invention?!? That's it! Technology has officially gone too far!
Phoebe: Just sit down and pee already. It's better if you don't question it.


We've officially reached that point in the night where it's unfathomably late and everybody's got enough alcohol in their systems to really let loose on the karaoke machine. It's good to see that these two still have so much stamina in their advanced ages; I half-expected them to be passed out on a sofa in the corner by now.


They are feeling the love tonight, and it is so beyond adorable!


Phoebe: And most important of all, I'd like to say a big thank you to our adoring audience! Your multiple standing ovations were too much, truly!


Phoebe: What do you say, honey? Think we should pack it in for the night?
Aahana: I don't know, that karaoke session was so invigorating! I think I've still got some party left in me!


Phoebe: Yes, let's really get this party started! The world ain't seen nothing yet! I. AM. PUMPED!

It's worth noting that it's, like, 4:00 AM at this point. Who ever said old age slows you down? Phoebe and Aahana suddenly feel younger than ever!


It's officially so late (or so early, depending on how you look at it) that the DJ has called it quits and there's not a soul left on the dance floor. That doesn't stop Aahana from nailing her second back flip ever, though. She's still full of surprises, this one.


Oh, she is feeling herself tonight. The party animal she never really was is now coming out in full force.


Phoebe: Babe, that back flip was so freaking sexy. Let's find a dark, quiet place to be alone, if you know what I mean...


I'm not sure why there's a closet in the middle of a night club (I guess for the patrons' coats...), and I think Aahana's just as confused, but, hey, it's the best option they've got on such short notice, and their adrenaline-fueled libidos aren't going to last long!


It's now about 7:00 AM, and they've still got enough energy left to have a passionate and very scenic make-out session.


Here it is from another angle, just so that we can take an extra moment to admire the beautiful backdrop.


Even after all that craziness, they manage to sneak in a nice bite of brunch to celebrate the fact that they've been awake for 24-plus hours now.


Aahana: Listen, honey, it might be the delirium brought on by a night without sleep talking, but I just had the best idea...


Aisha: Geez, it's nice to see you guys, too, especially since you never came home last night, but can you please tell us why you required our urgent presence at the park right now, despite the fact that it's pouring buckets of rain?


What could be better than an impromptu vow renewal ceremony? Sure, it may be a little dark and dreary out, but Phoebe and Aahana are still so hyped up they barely even notice.


Aisha: Really?!? You guys couldn't decide to do this at literally any other time?!?
Elliot: Come on, sis! You've got to admit it's kind of sweet.
Aisha: Sweet, my ass! I'm getting soaked out here!


Like I said, Phoebe and Aahana couldn't care less about their increasingly soggy clothing. They're too busy reliving the memory of their first wedding and the many happy years they've spent together since.


Elliot does his part by contributing a special piano ditty to soundtrack yet another extreme make-out session.


Not to be outdone, Aisha provides the dessert, from the warm, dry comfort of the conveniently well-stocked kitchen.


Aisha: Guys, aren't these literally the most amazing cookies you've ever tasted???
Elliot: Eh, they're okay, I guess... Let's go back to talking about my spectacular piano-playing now, though.


*heavy sigh*

Listen, if it wasn't obvious by now that this 24-hour whirlwind of events was leading up to a tragic end, you haven't been paying very close attention. Sadly, yes, I did have an idea that Aahana's life would be over very soon and wanted to give her the best final day I possibly could. Even so, it doesn't make her death any less sad.


Oh God. I am gutted. Why is death so unfathomably depressing in this game?!? They're just pixel people, for crying out loud! I shouldn't be this broken up by their demise!


Yes, Phoebe, he scares the living daylights out of me, too. Stop dragging this out, you bastard, and reap if you're going to reap already!


Phoebe: Please, sir! Spare her for even a single day longer! I don't think I can go on without her!


Judging by the copious amount of tears rolling down her face, I'm going to guess his answer was a firm "no." I don't blame her for not wanting to be in the room while her wife's soul is irrevocably snatched from her body.


RIP, Aahana. I loved you so much I felt like you were one of my own Sims from the start. I'll miss you almost as much as Phoebe will.


STOP WATCHING BAD STAND-UP COMEDY ON MY TV AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU SADISTIC ASSHOLE!!!


I really can't stand to see Phoebe like this. How will either of us ever recover from such a massive loss? There will forever be an Aahana-shaped hole in both of our hearts.