Family Frenemies IV
Previously: Tired of being upstaged by her brother's romantic exploits, Aisha attempted to find a boyfriend of her own, but the local population of teenage boys was a. not impressive and b. not impressed. Elliot continued flirting up a storm with other ladies while he waited for his true love Madeline to grow up.
How exciting! We've reached the mysterious header photo at last! Now I can finally change it to another photo from the distant future and make everyone wait to find out its actual context.
Anyway, sadly, Aahana and I both know that her days are growing ever more numbered, and since she loved her first brief sojourn to the desert so much, she's decided to take her kids on an adventure there while she still can. Especially since there seems to be one aspect in particular she wasn't able to explore last time...
Elliot: No offense, Mom, it's a beautiful desert and all, but it's hot as hell. What'd you drag us out here for anyway?
Aahana: I found this boarded-up cave entrance when I was here before. I think I can break it down myself, but I need some backup in case something goes terribly wrong.
Aisha: Don't worry, Mom. If you die in there, we'll be sure to tell everyone we know you went down a hero.
Elliot: Uh, does anyone else see that floating set of radioactive eyes, or is it just me?
Aisha: *forcing a smile* She's totally going to die, isn't she?
Elliot: *forcing an even bigger smile* Nah, she'll be fine! I'm sure those eyes were just a trick of the light.
Aahana: All right, kiddos, wish me luck. I'm going in...
Aisha: Soooooo... What should we do to pass the time while we wait to see if Mom comes out alive?
Elliot: Naturally, we'll have a water balloon fight with this conveniently-placed bucket of conveniently-filled balloons!
Aisha: Jesus, you nearly took my eye out, you fucking menace!
Elliot: *laughs maniacally for five minutes straight* I know, right? That was a good one.
Meanwhile, on the other side of that ominous opening, Aahana has discovered some sort of enchanted crystal realm.
Aahana: Come on in, guys! It's perfectly safe, and I just found the most fascinating frog!
Elliot: I don't know, Mom. It looks awfully spooky in here...
Who knows what kind of crazy catches they'll pull up from this mystical lake.
Aisha nabs this batfish, which is either super-cool or super-creepy or both.
Aahana reels in this intriguing seaweed-wrapped lock box. I wonder what could be inside?
Finally, Elliot pulls up some kind of pufferfish.
While the kids increase their fishing bounty, Aahana continues to explore.
There may not be much to do here besides dig and fish, but it's certainly a beautiful and oddly peaceful setting.
Naturally, before she can join her brother and mother in appreciating the night sky's beauty, Aisha has to snap a selfie.
Aisha: Just chillin' in an extraterrestrial cave world with my fam. #ForgottenGrotto #LoveAGoodStargazingSesh #GoodLuckFindingThisPlaceOnGoogleMaps
This is really fucking magical. I'm so happy they got to experience this place together.
Elliot: That was great, but, man, am I wiped out now!
Aahana: Tell me about it. *guzzles an obscene amount of coffee*
Once everyone's sufficiently recovered from their desert odyssey, the entire family comes together for a momentous occasion. Guys, Madeline is officially a young adult. And guess what? She and Elliot can't keep their hands off each other.
Elliot: You're the only girl I've ever seen myself spending forever with.
Madeline: Wait, I thought I was the only girl, period.
Elliot: *chuckles nervously* Of course, my love! There was never anyone else but you!
Aahana: Oh, honey, we'd better stick around for this. Where do you think he got the money to buy that ring?
Regardless of what funded that sparkly diamond (coughparentscreditcardagaincough), Madeline loves it and, more importantly, the guy that comes with it!
Where is Aisha during all this, you might wonder? Autonomously seeking out pen pals online, apparently.
Suddenly, the words "forever alone" keep flashing through her mind, and she can't seem to make them stop.
Meanwhile, Elliot and Madeline are so fucking cute, I'm going to scream.
Aahana knows what I'm talking about. She's practically swooning over their perfect union.
Aahana: Congratulations, son! My gut tells me you chose well with this one. She's so much sweeter than the others.
Madeline: What do you mean, others?
Elliot: She means nothing! Mom, I think you're getting senile in your old age.
Aahana: All right, I'll keep your dirty little secrets as long as you promise to be good to her.
Elliot: I swear, I will never even look at another woman again!
Let's check back in on Aisha, shall we?...
Aisha: Look who's stuck baking her own goddamn birthday cake. #ForeverAlone #HappyFuckingBirthdayToMe #NowPlayingCarlyRaeJepsenPartyForOne
Aisha: Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! I'm the least favorite child! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Aisha: Seriously, that didn't get anybody's attention?!? Well, guess I'll blow out these stupid candles now.
Don't be this way, Aisha. Look at your mom back there cheering you on. She cares, I promise!
Aisha: Guess I'll just eat this slice of self-made birthday cake all by myself, too.
Aahana: Honey, what is wrong with you? We love you!
Back to the old pen pal forums, the only place she feels truly appreciated.
At least her new friend in Littlehaven will always have her back!
How exciting! We've reached the mysterious header photo at last! Now I can finally change it to another photo from the distant future and make everyone wait to find out its actual context.
Anyway, sadly, Aahana and I both know that her days are growing ever more numbered, and since she loved her first brief sojourn to the desert so much, she's decided to take her kids on an adventure there while she still can. Especially since there seems to be one aspect in particular she wasn't able to explore last time...
Elliot: No offense, Mom, it's a beautiful desert and all, but it's hot as hell. What'd you drag us out here for anyway?
Aahana: I found this boarded-up cave entrance when I was here before. I think I can break it down myself, but I need some backup in case something goes terribly wrong.
Aisha: Don't worry, Mom. If you die in there, we'll be sure to tell everyone we know you went down a hero.
Elliot: Uh, does anyone else see that floating set of radioactive eyes, or is it just me?
Aisha: *forcing a smile* She's totally going to die, isn't she?
Elliot: *forcing an even bigger smile* Nah, she'll be fine! I'm sure those eyes were just a trick of the light.
Aahana: All right, kiddos, wish me luck. I'm going in...
Aisha: Soooooo... What should we do to pass the time while we wait to see if Mom comes out alive?
Elliot: Naturally, we'll have a water balloon fight with this conveniently-placed bucket of conveniently-filled balloons!
Aisha: Jesus, you nearly took my eye out, you fucking menace!
Elliot: *laughs maniacally for five minutes straight* I know, right? That was a good one.
Meanwhile, on the other side of that ominous opening, Aahana has discovered some sort of enchanted crystal realm.
Aahana: Come on in, guys! It's perfectly safe, and I just found the most fascinating frog!
Elliot: I don't know, Mom. It looks awfully spooky in here...
Who knows what kind of crazy catches they'll pull up from this mystical lake.
Aisha nabs this batfish, which is either super-cool or super-creepy or both.
Aahana reels in this intriguing seaweed-wrapped lock box. I wonder what could be inside?
Finally, Elliot pulls up some kind of pufferfish.
While the kids increase their fishing bounty, Aahana continues to explore.
There may not be much to do here besides dig and fish, but it's certainly a beautiful and oddly peaceful setting.
Naturally, before she can join her brother and mother in appreciating the night sky's beauty, Aisha has to snap a selfie.
Aisha: Just chillin' in an extraterrestrial cave world with my fam. #ForgottenGrotto #LoveAGoodStargazingSesh #GoodLuckFindingThisPlaceOnGoogleMaps
This is really fucking magical. I'm so happy they got to experience this place together.
Elliot: That was great, but, man, am I wiped out now!
Aahana: Tell me about it. *guzzles an obscene amount of coffee*
Once everyone's sufficiently recovered from their desert odyssey, the entire family comes together for a momentous occasion. Guys, Madeline is officially a young adult. And guess what? She and Elliot can't keep their hands off each other.
Elliot: You're the only girl I've ever seen myself spending forever with.
Madeline: Wait, I thought I was the only girl, period.
Elliot: *chuckles nervously* Of course, my love! There was never anyone else but you!
Aahana: Oh, honey, we'd better stick around for this. Where do you think he got the money to buy that ring?
Regardless of what funded that sparkly diamond (coughparentscreditcardagaincough), Madeline loves it and, more importantly, the guy that comes with it!
Where is Aisha during all this, you might wonder? Autonomously seeking out pen pals online, apparently.
Suddenly, the words "forever alone" keep flashing through her mind, and she can't seem to make them stop.
Meanwhile, Elliot and Madeline are so fucking cute, I'm going to scream.
Aahana knows what I'm talking about. She's practically swooning over their perfect union.
Aahana: Congratulations, son! My gut tells me you chose well with this one. She's so much sweeter than the others.
Madeline: What do you mean, others?
Elliot: She means nothing! Mom, I think you're getting senile in your old age.
Aahana: All right, I'll keep your dirty little secrets as long as you promise to be good to her.
Elliot: I swear, I will never even look at another woman again!
Let's check back in on Aisha, shall we?...
Aisha: Look who's stuck baking her own goddamn birthday cake. #ForeverAlone #HappyFuckingBirthdayToMe #NowPlayingCarlyRaeJepsenPartyForOne
Aisha: Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! I'm the least favorite child! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Aisha: Seriously, that didn't get anybody's attention?!? Well, guess I'll blow out these stupid candles now.
Don't be this way, Aisha. Look at your mom back there cheering you on. She cares, I promise!
Aisha: Guess I'll just eat this slice of self-made birthday cake all by myself, too.
Aahana: Honey, what is wrong with you? We love you!
Back to the old pen pal forums, the only place she feels truly appreciated.
At least her new friend in Littlehaven will always have her back!