Phoebe's World XII: Begin Again
Previously: I don't even want to talk about it. The most dangerous birthday party of all time, which involved swimming in the middle of an arctic snowstorm, resulted in two sadly premature deaths. One was Melinda, who will never live to see past her first couple hours as an adult. The other was some townie guy we don't really care about, but it was a sobering experience nonetheless.
Jane: I can't believe you were stupid enough to dare everyone to jump in the water at that godforsaken birthday party! As if things weren't terrible already, now I've got some sort of swamp virus from that filthy, algae-infested pool!
Phoebe: Don't go blaming everything on me, missy! I didn't force anyone's head beneath the surface. There is such a thing as free will, and I notice most of us were smart enough to use it before things got out of hand!
Jane: I know it doesn't do any good to point fingers. I just wish I wasn't sick, and I wish our friends weren't dead!
Aside from the frighteningly tiger-stripey rash, Jane's illness also comes with an uncontrollable case of the giggles, which is especially unfortunate considering the circumstances. Hopefully, a cup of strong, freshly-brewed tea will be enough to drive it out of her system.
Jane: Oh God, that stuff is absolutely putrid!
Putrid it may be, but I see it cleared up her skin in no time at all and made her feel well enough to meet up with Joaquin for a date. They're more thankful to have each other than ever following their close encounter with death.
Jane: Babe, when you asked me on a date, I thought that meant it'd just be the two of us, not that you'd invite your weird friends along as third and fourth wheels.
Cat Ears: Weird? Who are you calling weird? I resent that!
Waiter: Cannoli for table nine! CANNOLI FOR TABLE NINE!
Jane: Let's find a quieter place. I'm desperate to be alone with you.
Finally, a spot that's both scenic and isolated, perfect for all their making out and heavy petting needs.
That is, until you notice the solitary guy sitting on a bench in the background and leaning forward like he's giving a running commentary on their every move.
Bench Commentator: It looks like she's going in for the kiss now. She's going, she's going, she's gone! That's certainly one for the history books, folks.
Notice his tiny head bobbing behind the shrubbery the second he catches wind of what's going on when Jane attempts a heat-of-the-moment proposal, though. What's going on is that Joaquin is roundly denying her, and this guy can't handle the awkward tension of it all.
Jane: You don't love me, you never have loved me, and you never will love me, you useless jerk.
Joaquin: Aw, come on, babe, I didn't mean it like that, I swear...
Jane is so upset she has to take a rage nap on the nearest bench, leaving Joaquin to ponder his mistakes alone.
Joaquin: Well, I really fucked that one up, didn't I?
Knight Night?!? Now this sounds like something I can't miss out on!
Turns out it's exactly what it sounds like. Anyone who shows up in full medieval gear is rewarded with cheap drinks. The knights start pouring into the bar so quickly I think all of the local costume shops must be fully sold out of these get-ups.
Of course, Willow was thinking ahead and just happened to have two perfectly-fitting suits of armor stashed who knows where for her and Phoebe to change into. They leave their heads unhelmeted, naturally, because they spent way too long perfecting their makeup and hair to hide them.
The combined effect of beer and the suit of armor turns Phoebe into a hostile drunk.
Phoebe: Lady, you can't just walk in here not dressed as a knight and expect to get away with it. Who do you think you are?
To her credit, this lady remains pretty cool, calm, and collected while Phoebe and Willow relentlessly berate her.
A pregnant knight?!? That can't be at all comfortable, for either the mother or the baby.
By the way, Phoebe tracked down Joaquin, which I had a feeling would happen because this seems like exactly his bizarre sort of scene, and asked him point-blank what the fuck his deal is and if he's in love with Jane or not. According to him, his desire for her is of the flaming hot variety, so he'd better get to groveling next time he sees her.
Speaking of burning hot, Phoebe arrives home absolutely boiling over with desire for her beloved, who she thinks is even sexier than usual in her gardening get-up.
One thing leads to another, and you know what happens next. Shirley Temple should probably remove herself from that bed before she gets accidentally hurt.
Okay, Joaquin, but the first words out of your mouth had better be an apology. And if you show up in that godforsaken knight outfit, Jane is breaking up with you, no question about it.
Jane: Have you got some sort of kinky knight fetish I should know about? Because I am definitely not going to have sex with you in that thing.
By the way, this was, like, three in the morning, and apparently this store's employees stop giving a solitary fuck at that hour and just abandon ship to make snow angels without their coats on.
Speaking of snowy activities, Jane challenges Joaquin to a snowpal-building challenge. If he puts together an entire snowpal using his bare hands without dying of frostbite, he can have her back.
Joaquin: There, I finished! Have I adequately served my penance now?
Jane: It seems to have become quite blustery out here, hasn't it?
Does Jane think it's an appropriate time for them to shelter from the elements before the winter claims their lives, too? Nah. She thinks it's an appropriate time to attempt proposal number two!
Joaquin is more amenable this time, probably because he just wants to get out of the cold.
I went back home to check up on Phoebe and Aahana, and it appears that Phoebe is having some sort of existential crisis which involves her standing sadly in front of the fridge with no clothes on and a package of frozen meat balanced forlornly across her palm. Is she... okay?
For a total contrast in tone, at the same exact moment, Aahana is in the bathroom celebrating her positive pregnancy test and the sizable baby bump she has immediately developed as a result.
And now we've got random strangers waltzing into the place like they own it with creepy frozen smiles on their faces? Is this some sort of cult initiation? Whatever it is, now is not the time!
Aahana: Honey, guess what?!? I'm pregnant! And, oh my God, why are you totally naked?
Phoebe: Clothes are a meaningless construct that restricts and oppresses us. We come into this world naked, after all. Haven't you ever stopped to think there might be a reason for that? Why are we so preoccupied with using synthetic fabrics to cover our natural selves? Why can't we just be free of society's judgment and expectations?
Are you high right now? Girl, what on earth have you been smoking?
These two are either super pleased that their cult initiation efforts are working so smoothly or super shocked to see something they didn't at all expect. It's hard to tell.
They're leaving now, finished with their strange, unknowable bidding. Honestly, I'm super spooked. I feel like they just unleashed a demon inside the house or something.
Phoebe: By the way, did you say something about a baby? It's funny. I could've sworn I heard you say the word "baby."
Aahana: *deep sigh* Go put some clothes on, and then we'll talk.
Back to Jane and Joaquin, I have literally no idea how long they've been out here, but it's broad daylight now and they've decided to go skating. Joaquin keeps falling hard on his ass, which is the least suave I've ever seen him look.
Joaquin: I'd better stop that now. Can't let the word get out that I'm anything less than smooth as hell.
Despite her marathon night-into-morning date with Joaquin, it's back to the food-reviewing grind for Jane, and OH MY GOD, is that the creepy lady who was just at our house for no apparent reason?!? Run, Jane! You have no idea what she put in that bowl!
Like I said, I keep forgetting that these Sims have families because I'm so used to TS2-style townies who have no attachments and never even age. But Aahana's mom, Ananya, called to meet up, and I figured it would probably be a good idea to let her know Aahana's big news.
Aahana: Mom, you'll never believe it! My wife and I are going to have a baby!
Ananya: Wait, you're married? When did that even happen, and why wasn't I invited?
Well, about that, Ananya... It's my fault, completely. Don't take it out on your daughter.
Ananya: Oh, come here and let me rub that big adorable belly of yours! You know I can't resist the lure of my first grandchild!
Aahana: Speaking of, I can't help but notice you're looking a little... round yourself, Mom.
Ananya: Ah, yes, one of those late in life miracles you read all about. I've been truly blessed!
Okay, a little weird for mother and daughter to be pregnant at the same time. It feels kind of like one of those fundamentalist Christian families where the mom is popping out her fifteenth kid when her oldest is nearing thirty, but we'll go with it.
Anyway, Ananya and Phoebe meet for the first time, and Ananya might be giving her a bit of a hard time about never properly introducing herself before...
But, before long, they're laughing together like the best of friends, and Aahana is glowing with happiness.
Jane: I can't believe you were stupid enough to dare everyone to jump in the water at that godforsaken birthday party! As if things weren't terrible already, now I've got some sort of swamp virus from that filthy, algae-infested pool!
Phoebe: Don't go blaming everything on me, missy! I didn't force anyone's head beneath the surface. There is such a thing as free will, and I notice most of us were smart enough to use it before things got out of hand!
Jane: I know it doesn't do any good to point fingers. I just wish I wasn't sick, and I wish our friends weren't dead!
Aside from the frighteningly tiger-stripey rash, Jane's illness also comes with an uncontrollable case of the giggles, which is especially unfortunate considering the circumstances. Hopefully, a cup of strong, freshly-brewed tea will be enough to drive it out of her system.
Jane: Oh God, that stuff is absolutely putrid!
Putrid it may be, but I see it cleared up her skin in no time at all and made her feel well enough to meet up with Joaquin for a date. They're more thankful to have each other than ever following their close encounter with death.
Jane: Babe, when you asked me on a date, I thought that meant it'd just be the two of us, not that you'd invite your weird friends along as third and fourth wheels.
Cat Ears: Weird? Who are you calling weird? I resent that!
Waiter: Cannoli for table nine! CANNOLI FOR TABLE NINE!
Jane: Let's find a quieter place. I'm desperate to be alone with you.
Finally, a spot that's both scenic and isolated, perfect for all their making out and heavy petting needs.
That is, until you notice the solitary guy sitting on a bench in the background and leaning forward like he's giving a running commentary on their every move.
Bench Commentator: It looks like she's going in for the kiss now. She's going, she's going, she's gone! That's certainly one for the history books, folks.
Notice his tiny head bobbing behind the shrubbery the second he catches wind of what's going on when Jane attempts a heat-of-the-moment proposal, though. What's going on is that Joaquin is roundly denying her, and this guy can't handle the awkward tension of it all.
Jane: You don't love me, you never have loved me, and you never will love me, you useless jerk.
Joaquin: Aw, come on, babe, I didn't mean it like that, I swear...
Jane is so upset she has to take a rage nap on the nearest bench, leaving Joaquin to ponder his mistakes alone.
Joaquin: Well, I really fucked that one up, didn't I?
Knight Night?!? Now this sounds like something I can't miss out on!
Turns out it's exactly what it sounds like. Anyone who shows up in full medieval gear is rewarded with cheap drinks. The knights start pouring into the bar so quickly I think all of the local costume shops must be fully sold out of these get-ups.
Of course, Willow was thinking ahead and just happened to have two perfectly-fitting suits of armor stashed who knows where for her and Phoebe to change into. They leave their heads unhelmeted, naturally, because they spent way too long perfecting their makeup and hair to hide them.
The combined effect of beer and the suit of armor turns Phoebe into a hostile drunk.
Phoebe: Lady, you can't just walk in here not dressed as a knight and expect to get away with it. Who do you think you are?
To her credit, this lady remains pretty cool, calm, and collected while Phoebe and Willow relentlessly berate her.
A pregnant knight?!? That can't be at all comfortable, for either the mother or the baby.
By the way, Phoebe tracked down Joaquin, which I had a feeling would happen because this seems like exactly his bizarre sort of scene, and asked him point-blank what the fuck his deal is and if he's in love with Jane or not. According to him, his desire for her is of the flaming hot variety, so he'd better get to groveling next time he sees her.
Speaking of burning hot, Phoebe arrives home absolutely boiling over with desire for her beloved, who she thinks is even sexier than usual in her gardening get-up.
One thing leads to another, and you know what happens next. Shirley Temple should probably remove herself from that bed before she gets accidentally hurt.
Okay, Joaquin, but the first words out of your mouth had better be an apology. And if you show up in that godforsaken knight outfit, Jane is breaking up with you, no question about it.
Jane: Have you got some sort of kinky knight fetish I should know about? Because I am definitely not going to have sex with you in that thing.
By the way, this was, like, three in the morning, and apparently this store's employees stop giving a solitary fuck at that hour and just abandon ship to make snow angels without their coats on.
Speaking of snowy activities, Jane challenges Joaquin to a snowpal-building challenge. If he puts together an entire snowpal using his bare hands without dying of frostbite, he can have her back.
Joaquin: There, I finished! Have I adequately served my penance now?
Jane: It seems to have become quite blustery out here, hasn't it?
Does Jane think it's an appropriate time for them to shelter from the elements before the winter claims their lives, too? Nah. She thinks it's an appropriate time to attempt proposal number two!
Joaquin is more amenable this time, probably because he just wants to get out of the cold.
I went back home to check up on Phoebe and Aahana, and it appears that Phoebe is having some sort of existential crisis which involves her standing sadly in front of the fridge with no clothes on and a package of frozen meat balanced forlornly across her palm. Is she... okay?
For a total contrast in tone, at the same exact moment, Aahana is in the bathroom celebrating her positive pregnancy test and the sizable baby bump she has immediately developed as a result.
And now we've got random strangers waltzing into the place like they own it with creepy frozen smiles on their faces? Is this some sort of cult initiation? Whatever it is, now is not the time!
Aahana: Honey, guess what?!? I'm pregnant! And, oh my God, why are you totally naked?
Phoebe: Clothes are a meaningless construct that restricts and oppresses us. We come into this world naked, after all. Haven't you ever stopped to think there might be a reason for that? Why are we so preoccupied with using synthetic fabrics to cover our natural selves? Why can't we just be free of society's judgment and expectations?
Are you high right now? Girl, what on earth have you been smoking?
These two are either super pleased that their cult initiation efforts are working so smoothly or super shocked to see something they didn't at all expect. It's hard to tell.
They're leaving now, finished with their strange, unknowable bidding. Honestly, I'm super spooked. I feel like they just unleashed a demon inside the house or something.
Phoebe: By the way, did you say something about a baby? It's funny. I could've sworn I heard you say the word "baby."
Aahana: *deep sigh* Go put some clothes on, and then we'll talk.
Back to Jane and Joaquin, I have literally no idea how long they've been out here, but it's broad daylight now and they've decided to go skating. Joaquin keeps falling hard on his ass, which is the least suave I've ever seen him look.
Joaquin: I'd better stop that now. Can't let the word get out that I'm anything less than smooth as hell.
Despite her marathon night-into-morning date with Joaquin, it's back to the food-reviewing grind for Jane, and OH MY GOD, is that the creepy lady who was just at our house for no apparent reason?!? Run, Jane! You have no idea what she put in that bowl!
Like I said, I keep forgetting that these Sims have families because I'm so used to TS2-style townies who have no attachments and never even age. But Aahana's mom, Ananya, called to meet up, and I figured it would probably be a good idea to let her know Aahana's big news.
Aahana: Mom, you'll never believe it! My wife and I are going to have a baby!
Ananya: Wait, you're married? When did that even happen, and why wasn't I invited?
Well, about that, Ananya... It's my fault, completely. Don't take it out on your daughter.
Ananya: Oh, come here and let me rub that big adorable belly of yours! You know I can't resist the lure of my first grandchild!
Aahana: Speaking of, I can't help but notice you're looking a little... round yourself, Mom.
Ananya: Ah, yes, one of those late in life miracles you read all about. I've been truly blessed!
Okay, a little weird for mother and daughter to be pregnant at the same time. It feels kind of like one of those fundamentalist Christian families where the mom is popping out her fifteenth kid when her oldest is nearing thirty, but we'll go with it.
Anyway, Ananya and Phoebe meet for the first time, and Ananya might be giving her a bit of a hard time about never properly introducing herself before...
But, before long, they're laughing together like the best of friends, and Aahana is glowing with happiness.