Phoebe's World VI: The Saddest Spooky Day Party Ever

Previously: The Paragons continued their dance floor domination. While Phoebe attempted to balance the party life with her work life and her deepening romance with Aahana, Jane developed an infatuation with Spin Masters rival, Joaquin, and the girls adopted a kitten they named Shirley Temple.

Welcome to the saddest Spooky Day party ever, hosted by the world's most depressed fairy. Even though Phoebe isn't particularly in the mood for throwing an epic rager, what with the recent deaths of both her dad and her stepmom weighing heavy on her mind, she feels obligated to show all of her friends and siblings a good time in these trying days.

It's going to require a lot of alcohol to get through it with a brave face, though.

Oh no she didn't! Phoebe's dance rival, Candy, showed up in the same costume as her. Even if it's a different color, that's not cool at all. Even Shirley Temple (who is suddenly an adult cat) is judging her hardcore for this choice.

That's right, Phoebe. Change into your back-up costume, fling away those tears, and get back out there and rock it. (Low-key, her second costume is so much better than her first. Where did she get all of that blue body paint, and how did she apply it so flawlessly so quickly?!?)

Here's Siobhan looking absolutely incredible as Princess Leia, but for some reason she's all down in the dumps, too.

Siobhan: Girl, you look amazing! Kick your stupid sad ass into gear already!

Tattered, bloody schoolgirl Jane couldn't believe this absolute cornball who showed up in a bulky, identity-masking llamacorn get-up, so she thought she'd take advantage of their inability to see anything by pulling the good old-fashioned hand buzzer move.

Jane: Oh my God, is that you, Joaquin? How am I supposed to kiss you through that damn thing!

Too bad the effect of Nico's bad-ass pirate costume is totally eclipsed by his extreme sadness.

And here's Willow in another spectacular costume, some sort of Victorian pumpkin-headed ghoul, but looking entirely over it already. I wonder if Miko picked out these costumes for them before she died. Oh God, now I'm going to make myself cry.

All right, guys, let's try to inject some liveliness into this so far funeral-like atmosphere. I know none of you can resist the intoxicating allure of dance!

Okay, okay, we're getting somewhere. At least nobody is breaking down into gut-wrenching sobs. It looks like we've picked up another fairy now, too. Apparently, that one was a hot seller this year.

Pumpkin-carving time! Yay! We're having so much fun!

Luna: Aw, fuck! The sound system broke down! That's it. We might as well all just pack it in and go home.

Calm down, Miss Doom and Gloom. I'm sure there's other fun to be had besides dancing.

For example, there's a caterer downstairs churning out more spooky cookies, cheese eyeballs, and zombie cake than anyone's stomach can keep up with.

Jane: Joaquin, I told you to get the zombie apocalypse schoolboy costume. We were supposed to be a matching pair!
Joaquin: *muffled by an inch of felt* Yeah, but isn't this one just so much cooler?

"Cool" is certainly one word for it... And how is he even eating that cake?!?

Phoebe requires a mid-party pick-me-up cuddle, and Shirley Temple is gladly available to deliver one.

It looks like Ivy and Olive are past the mourning stage of their father's death and onto the mischief phase.

Meanwhile, Nico has secluded himself at the computer upstairs to blog about his feelings or join an online grief support group or something. Poor kid, he's barely holding it together.

At least he's figured out a way to both distract himself and be useful by autonomously repairing the outdoor speaker!

Well, overall, that party wasn't as altogether depressing as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't particularly fun either. Here's a palate cleanser from all of the tears and sad faces in the form of Shirley Temple being cute everywhere and with everyone.

Fin.

(Also, this picture reminded me that Melinda exists. She works nights, so she must have missed the party.)

Aahana is slowly but surely bonding with her bees and improving the quality of her honey. She's also acquired a beekeeper suit, which is probably an important thing to have.

Promotions all around! If sadness is good for anything, it's burying yourself in your work to a probably unhealthy degree.

Phoebe really hit a home run with this career in social media. She's already making mad bank compared to everyone else.

Shirley, no! We just had that beautiful montage of you being pampered and adored! What could have gone wrong?

Aahana, I know you're rightfully upset over the disappearance of your cat, but it doesn't call for setting yourself on fire!

Now this is a depression activity I can get behind: throwing your unshowered body despondently down on a yoga mat and screaming into the void.

Phoebe: Our cat is missing. My dad and stepmom are dead. Aahana nearly immolated herself. Let's get fucked up!
Jane: Amen to that, sister!
Aahana: Last one to the bar covers the entire tab!

You know what accompanies excessive drinking? Excessive dancing. And I just can't get enough of these synchronized group routines. They're so good! I could literally just watch Sims do this on a loop and be entertained for hours.

These girls are killing it, and they know it. Bow to their dance mastery!

Jane finds a moment to sneak in a dance floor kiss with Joaquin, apparently having forgiven him for his choice of Spooky Day attire.

Phoebe: Macking on the enemy, eh? Maybe you should just join the Spin Masters if you like them so much!

I don't really know what happened here, but it looks like Siobhan narrowly missed poking out her eye. Apparently, when this girl dances, she goes all in.

Siobhan: Someone please help me! I think I blinded myself! I THINK I'M DYING!!!!!

Okay, girl, maybe it's time to ease up on the drinking.

Aahana: Ease up? I just got started. My, this is a delightful blend!

Phoebe looks very pleased over there, probably because she knows that Wino Aahana overlaps with Flirty Aahana, who just so happens to be her favorite Aahana. (Also, Phoebe's favorite drink is the specialty pet drink... I don't know what this says about her or if I should be concerned, but I just thought I should put that information out there.)

Phoebe: Move aside, lovers and wannabe dancers. This club is mine now!

Melinda: What the fuck? Did you know she could do that?
Jane: No... No, I definitely did not.

Apparently, after half a dozen or so drinks, Phoebe can do anything.