Phoebe's World V: Dance Machine
Previously: Phoebe and her friends Aahana, Jane, and Melinda struck out on their own to create the ultimate party pad for themselves and the rest of the Paragons. They had a wild housewarming party, and Phoebe discovered that alcohol turns Aahana into a massive(ly adorable) flirt. Then Siobhan came crawling back for forgiveness, which Phoebe offered because she's not entirely evil.
It's the first Paragons gathering with Siobhan back in the fold. The other members look skeptical right now, but fingers crossed she can prove herself and find her way back into their good graces.
Siobhan: Hey, everyone, I'm back, and I promise I'm way more chill now. I'm, like, the chillest.
Aahana: Well, then. If you're so chill, you won't mind buying us a round of drinks when we kick your ass at foosball.
Jane: Yes, I like the way you think, girl!
Sadly, Aahana hasn't had quite enough to drink yet to maintain that uncharacteristic burst of bravado. Instead, she serves as referee, and Sofia joins Jane to go head-to-head against Phoebe and Siobhan.
Jane: Wow, we wiped the floor with those losers in record time. Put 'er there, girlfriend.
Siobhan: GODDAMNIT, I DEMAND A REMATCH NOW!
What happened to being the chillest? The moment her perceived flawlessness is challenged, her superiority complex comes raging back to life.
Phoebe: All right, everyone. Let's just keep things civil. Best out of three, what do you say? And if we still lose, drinks will be on me.
Jane: I say get ready for another ass-kicking because you're up against the dream team over here.
All of a sudden, Jane and Sofia are besties. I guess they can find common ground in their shared mistrust that Siobhan has really changed and their desire to rub said mistrust in her face.
Phoebe: I guess you guys win fair and square after all. To the bar for a round courtesy of your generous leader!
Jane wastes absolutely no time ordering the most expensive, most ludicrously over-the-top drink available.
Apparently, once you get a drink or two into her, Siobhan loosens up enough to dance like an absolute nerd and not give a single fuck what people think. This is an entirely new side of her, and, I'm not going to lie, it's kind of endearing.
The true test of whether or not she deserves to come back for good, though, lies in how successfully she pulls off one of Phoebe's patented synchronized dance routines.
I'd say she's pulling it off pretty well, as is everyone else. Look at how perfectly aligned they all are.
Phoebe: The Spin Masters can shove it, Candy! The Paragons are the true lords of the dance floor now!
Unlike the Paragons' tempestuous relationship with the Renegades before, this inter-club rivalry is purely of a jovial nature. Everyone is actually becoming really good friends because peace and harmony is where it's at. There's no time for hate when you're busy partying.
There's always time for a good old fashioned dance showdown, though. Unfortunately, Phoebe hasn't quite mastered the art of gracefully spinning a pair of glow sticks around, so she's kind of winging it.
Candy: Wasn't that just adorable! *chuckles* Now stand back and let me show you how it's really done.
Damn, I have to admit the girl definitely knows her stuff. Phoebe's going to have to put in some practice time before the next battle.
But, for now, I think she'd better hit the hay before she...
Oh. Oh, dear. Turns out there is such a thing as too much partying, and Phoebe has come up against that wall hard.
The girls attempt some light morning yoga to cure their hangovers, but Phoebe doesn't look very convinced it'll work.
Aahana: Ugh, I think this is a bust.
Jane: Yeah, fuck this. I'm going back to bed.
Forget yoga. Phoebe's got another idea about how to cure a hangover, and it's called silly gummy bear pancakes for all!
Um, Phoebe, maybe you should just leave the cooking to Melinda. I'm pretty sure she's not totally sober yet either, but I'd still trust her behind a stove top more than I trust you.
The height of gourmet cuisine, truly. I just hope all that sugar gives you enough of a buzz to make it through the workday without getting fired for lackluster performance.
I swear to God, the girls were going to stay at home and take it easy for a night, but then their friend Joaquin from the Spin Masters called up with this invitation and, come on, how can we possibly turn this down?
Jane: Alien night, eh? Got something you want to admit to us, Joaquin?
If he is an alien, he's pretty damn stealthy about it, considering the rest of them aren't exactly being shy about exposing their true nature. At the same time, Jane and Joaquin both seem utterly oblivious to the extraterrestrial being passing right in front of them, so maybe blending in isn't so essential after all.
Aahana: Oh my God! Wait until Phoebe gets a load of this! Her stepmom has totally been an alien in disguise all along.
Phoebe: Turn around, numskull. Maki is not an alien. Are all of you idiots blind or what?
Well, well, well, what do we have here? It looks like a bit of a flirtation may be developing between Jane and Joaquin.
Naturally, Phoebe and Aahana can't bear to be outdone in the romance department.
Siobhan: Guys? *laughs nervously* Did you forget about me? You've kind of left me to the freaks over here.
Yes, Siobhan, they did forget about you... And, honestly, so did I. Actually, I'm pretty sure I accidentally selected your portrait instead of Melinda's when I was choosing people to come along. Sorry.
Phoebe: All that PDA has me feeling some kind of way! What do you say we take this party upstairs?
Don't worry, reader. Phoebe and Aahana aren't quite ready to go all the way yet... Or they just zonked out before they could really get anywhere. You decide.
On the other hand, Jane had no qualms about inviting Joaquin back to their place for a little fun, though she might be regretting her decision now that she's got his smelly sock shoved all up in her face.
Jane: That was fine, but maybe next time lose the sunglasses, okay?
The woohoo was at least good enough to put her in a promotion-worthy mood at work. Forget paper delivery! She's working behind the scenes now.
Meanwhile, in order to succeed at her job, Phoebe just has to spend a lot of time in front of the computer screen updating her Simstagram and posting to her blog, which doesn't make for very compelling photos.
Her promotions are directly proportionate to her follower count, and she's slowly moving on up in the world.
The girls decided to adopt a kitten, and this awful stern-looking adoption agent certainly does not need to know that, really, they just want a cute party mascot to show off to their friends.
Phoebe: Hello, sir. This is definitely a reputable household run by responsible and upstanding adult women who would never do anything as careless as throw loud dance parties or get drunk around a tiny, innocent kitten.
Do you think he buys it? I mean, come on, they have a litter box all ready to go! What more could he want?
Surely he cannot resist the charm of Phoebe and the new kitten adorably bonding via laser pointer!
The wondrous hug of adoption seals the deal. I don't remember what the kitten's original name was, but the girls have decided to christen her Shirley Temple after all of the non-alcoholic beverages they will almost certainly not be drinking.
Naturally, the first thing Phoebe did was run and post a picture of her online, and she's already on her way to becoming Simstagram famous.
Did you know there's a drink that can be made specifically for pets? I didn't, but once I realized it was a thing, I just had to have Melinda whip one up. Hopefully, it contains as little alcohol as Shirley's namesake because otherwise we might be in for some trouble.
Passed out behind the bar in what appears to be a drunken tangle. Definitely an appropriate introduction for Shirley to her new home. I'm sure she's fine, though. Hopefully.
It's the first Paragons gathering with Siobhan back in the fold. The other members look skeptical right now, but fingers crossed she can prove herself and find her way back into their good graces.
Siobhan: Hey, everyone, I'm back, and I promise I'm way more chill now. I'm, like, the chillest.
Aahana: Well, then. If you're so chill, you won't mind buying us a round of drinks when we kick your ass at foosball.
Jane: Yes, I like the way you think, girl!
Sadly, Aahana hasn't had quite enough to drink yet to maintain that uncharacteristic burst of bravado. Instead, she serves as referee, and Sofia joins Jane to go head-to-head against Phoebe and Siobhan.
Jane: Wow, we wiped the floor with those losers in record time. Put 'er there, girlfriend.
Siobhan: GODDAMNIT, I DEMAND A REMATCH NOW!
What happened to being the chillest? The moment her perceived flawlessness is challenged, her superiority complex comes raging back to life.
Phoebe: All right, everyone. Let's just keep things civil. Best out of three, what do you say? And if we still lose, drinks will be on me.
Jane: I say get ready for another ass-kicking because you're up against the dream team over here.
All of a sudden, Jane and Sofia are besties. I guess they can find common ground in their shared mistrust that Siobhan has really changed and their desire to rub said mistrust in her face.
Phoebe: I guess you guys win fair and square after all. To the bar for a round courtesy of your generous leader!
Jane wastes absolutely no time ordering the most expensive, most ludicrously over-the-top drink available.
Apparently, once you get a drink or two into her, Siobhan loosens up enough to dance like an absolute nerd and not give a single fuck what people think. This is an entirely new side of her, and, I'm not going to lie, it's kind of endearing.
The true test of whether or not she deserves to come back for good, though, lies in how successfully she pulls off one of Phoebe's patented synchronized dance routines.
I'd say she's pulling it off pretty well, as is everyone else. Look at how perfectly aligned they all are.
Phoebe: The Spin Masters can shove it, Candy! The Paragons are the true lords of the dance floor now!
Unlike the Paragons' tempestuous relationship with the Renegades before, this inter-club rivalry is purely of a jovial nature. Everyone is actually becoming really good friends because peace and harmony is where it's at. There's no time for hate when you're busy partying.
There's always time for a good old fashioned dance showdown, though. Unfortunately, Phoebe hasn't quite mastered the art of gracefully spinning a pair of glow sticks around, so she's kind of winging it.
Candy: Wasn't that just adorable! *chuckles* Now stand back and let me show you how it's really done.
Damn, I have to admit the girl definitely knows her stuff. Phoebe's going to have to put in some practice time before the next battle.
But, for now, I think she'd better hit the hay before she...
Oh. Oh, dear. Turns out there is such a thing as too much partying, and Phoebe has come up against that wall hard.
The girls attempt some light morning yoga to cure their hangovers, but Phoebe doesn't look very convinced it'll work.
Aahana: Ugh, I think this is a bust.
Jane: Yeah, fuck this. I'm going back to bed.
Forget yoga. Phoebe's got another idea about how to cure a hangover, and it's called silly gummy bear pancakes for all!
Um, Phoebe, maybe you should just leave the cooking to Melinda. I'm pretty sure she's not totally sober yet either, but I'd still trust her behind a stove top more than I trust you.
The height of gourmet cuisine, truly. I just hope all that sugar gives you enough of a buzz to make it through the workday without getting fired for lackluster performance.
I swear to God, the girls were going to stay at home and take it easy for a night, but then their friend Joaquin from the Spin Masters called up with this invitation and, come on, how can we possibly turn this down?
Jane: Alien night, eh? Got something you want to admit to us, Joaquin?
If he is an alien, he's pretty damn stealthy about it, considering the rest of them aren't exactly being shy about exposing their true nature. At the same time, Jane and Joaquin both seem utterly oblivious to the extraterrestrial being passing right in front of them, so maybe blending in isn't so essential after all.
Aahana: Oh my God! Wait until Phoebe gets a load of this! Her stepmom has totally been an alien in disguise all along.
Phoebe: Turn around, numskull. Maki is not an alien. Are all of you idiots blind or what?
Well, well, well, what do we have here? It looks like a bit of a flirtation may be developing between Jane and Joaquin.
Naturally, Phoebe and Aahana can't bear to be outdone in the romance department.
Siobhan: Guys? *laughs nervously* Did you forget about me? You've kind of left me to the freaks over here.
Yes, Siobhan, they did forget about you... And, honestly, so did I. Actually, I'm pretty sure I accidentally selected your portrait instead of Melinda's when I was choosing people to come along. Sorry.
Phoebe: All that PDA has me feeling some kind of way! What do you say we take this party upstairs?
Don't worry, reader. Phoebe and Aahana aren't quite ready to go all the way yet... Or they just zonked out before they could really get anywhere. You decide.
On the other hand, Jane had no qualms about inviting Joaquin back to their place for a little fun, though she might be regretting her decision now that she's got his smelly sock shoved all up in her face.
Jane: That was fine, but maybe next time lose the sunglasses, okay?
The woohoo was at least good enough to put her in a promotion-worthy mood at work. Forget paper delivery! She's working behind the scenes now.
Meanwhile, in order to succeed at her job, Phoebe just has to spend a lot of time in front of the computer screen updating her Simstagram and posting to her blog, which doesn't make for very compelling photos.
Her promotions are directly proportionate to her follower count, and she's slowly moving on up in the world.
The girls decided to adopt a kitten, and this awful stern-looking adoption agent certainly does not need to know that, really, they just want a cute party mascot to show off to their friends.
Phoebe: Hello, sir. This is definitely a reputable household run by responsible and upstanding adult women who would never do anything as careless as throw loud dance parties or get drunk around a tiny, innocent kitten.
Do you think he buys it? I mean, come on, they have a litter box all ready to go! What more could he want?
Surely he cannot resist the charm of Phoebe and the new kitten adorably bonding via laser pointer!
The wondrous hug of adoption seals the deal. I don't remember what the kitten's original name was, but the girls have decided to christen her Shirley Temple after all of the non-alcoholic beverages they will almost certainly not be drinking.
Naturally, the first thing Phoebe did was run and post a picture of her online, and she's already on her way to becoming Simstagram famous.
Did you know there's a drink that can be made specifically for pets? I didn't, but once I realized it was a thing, I just had to have Melinda whip one up. Hopefully, it contains as little alcohol as Shirley's namesake because otherwise we might be in for some trouble.
Passed out behind the bar in what appears to be a drunken tangle. Definitely an appropriate introduction for Shirley to her new home. I'm sure she's fine, though. Hopefully.