Phoebe's World IX: Wedding Bells

Previously: After so many wild nights out, the girls enjoyed a day at the spa filled with rest and relaxation. Then they banded together to prepare for Phoebe and Aahana's upcoming nuptials, and not even a series of potential bad omens could get them down!



It's officially the morning of Phoebe and Aahana's wedding day, and Aahana's got the celebratory confetti on hand to prove it. (It was actually for some other dumb non-holiday that happened to fall on their wedding day, but like that matters. We all know what she's really excited for.)


Jane, on the other hand, just woke up and remembered that her dad is dead, which means she's hardly in the mood for celebration. I'm sorry for your loss, girl, but I'm not going to let you bring everyone down with you!


I had to decide whether to post this or the last Suburban Bliss installment first because there was some overlap in terms of timelines. But choosing to go with that one first worked out because now we get to pretend Maki is alive and well for a little while longer.

Maki: You look absolutely beautiful, honey.
Phoebe: Thanks! I just wish Mom and Dad were still around to see this.

Aww, don't go making me cry before the wedding's even started.


Aahana has clearly been dreaming of this day for a very long time. She can hardly wait to exchange vows and begin the rest of their lives together.


But we've got to have a quick cocktail hour first, of course. You can never start the alcohol flowing too early. Meanwhile, this is the most confidence around women or other people in general I've ever seen Nico show. He must be feeling pretty snazzy in his wedding wear.


Candy: Gosh, isn't this just beautiful? I'm so happy our friends are getting married!
Melinda: You know, that could have been me. Once upon a time, I was this close to snagging Phoebe for myself.


Olive: Gosh, isn't this just beautiful?
Melinda: If I have to hear that one more time, I swear to God... *gulps back her bitterness along with her drink*


Jane is drinking during the ceremony, too, but for entirely different reasons. I don't know if you heard, but her dad died.


Meanwhile, everyone else is just kind of swaying awkwardly as they watch from outside the room. This is the first proper wedding ceremony with guests that I've done in TS4, and I see that they're just as much of a clusterfuck here as they were in previous iterations of the game.


Anyway, forget the guests and their lack of wedding etiquette, Phoebe and Aahana both look stunning.


And so madly in love that they barely notice all the empty pews.


Willow: Oh, shit, it already started. Would it be weird if I just walked in right now?

There's always that one person who arrives fashionably late and proceeds to make everything about them.


Willow: Congratulations to the happy couple! I have definitely been here the entire time, and the ceremony was lovely!


Phoebe brings a slice of honey cake over to Aahana so they can share the first bite.


Fuck, they are so cute! I am too, too lucky in the Sim couple department.


Willow: Hey, sis. You look so pretty. I know you might not have seen me until now, but I definitely didn't just arrive five minutes ago if that's what you're thinking.


Melinda: Out of the way, old lady. Let me show you how a real bartender does it.


Melinda: My former almost-girlfriend is marrying the love of her life, and I am totally, 100% okay with it!


Oh boy, I think Aahana is already tipsy on wine.


I'm glad Jane finally managed to track down Joaquin. Hopefully, he can cheer her up a little bit.


Did I hear someone call for synchronized dancing? Because if there's anything this wedding has been missing so far, it's definitely synchronized dancing.


I didn't remember until Siobhan and Sergio failed to join in on the dance that I set the Paragons to have a young adult age cut-off, which they're now past, so there are suddenly two member openings.

Willow: Suck it, old lady! Your time is up, and I'm going to be a Paragon now!
Phoebe: Hey, now, I'm the only one who makes membership decisions around here.


Willow and Olive have to audition to prove that they're worthy of being Paragons members. Naturally, what better way to audition than with another intricately choreographed dance routine?


Phoebe: All right, you kind of nailed it. Welcome to the club, guys.


Ivy: Wow, thanks for asking me. Not that I wanted to be a member of your stupid popularity club anyway.


Like Nico, Ivy prefers the more refined things in life. Who could possibly choose dancing to ear-splitting club music over appreciating an intensely moving classical piano performance?


Oh, things are getting wild in here now. It's officially glow stick time!


Phoebe: A real dancer doesn't need props to prove their talent. They should be able to impress with moves alone.


She is going for the back flip. I repeat, she is going for the back flip, people!


Oof, that wasn't a very smooth landing. I think she forgot to factor in the fact that she's wearing a bulky wedding dress rather than her usual skimpy club outfits.


You know someone is your soulmate when they offer to ease your humiliation over a dance floor fail with a supportive shoulder massage.


Phoebe refuses to let one crappy back flip define her, wedding dress be damned!


That look on her face? The look of someone who killed it without question the second time around.


Phoebe: So is anybody else going to help me clean up this mess?
Aahana: Sorry, babe, I'm starving! I barely got a bite to eat all day.


Jane is too sad to help, and Melinda is too busy still being unnecessarily bitter. I think it's time for both of them to go home and sleep it off.


For everyone else who isn't a total Debbie Downer, though, there's a sick afterparty going down at the Ruins in Windenburg, and we've got guys doing push-up competitions on the dance floor, so you know it's lit.


Funny how Willow was late to the wedding but has no problem being on time for the afterparty.


Yes, douse that pile of wood with lighter fluid and strike up the bonfire, Aahana. It's time to party for real!


Phoebe: Oh, Jesus, babe, you never told me you know how to freaking fire dance.


Seriously, I think Aahana must have been a fire dancer in a past life. There's no other way to explain her fearlessness.


She was so good that no one else even tried to compete with her. They stuck with regular old non-fire dancing instead.


Aahana and Phoebe take a moment to zone out from everything going on around them and cozy up in front of the fire like they're the only two people in the world.


ABSOLUTE. COUPLE. GOALS.


Just as the sky is beginning to lighten from black to gray, they decide to get away from everyone else for real and head out to the Bluffs for the first moment of genuine solitude they've had all day.


Can you spot the two tiny girls hugging atop the gigantic cliff? Even it is no match for the size of their love.


What better way to end the best night of their lives than with an all-natural woohoo session?


Even the bushes are full of doves in celebration of this glorious union. May they go forth and prosper!