Phoebe's World II: Stealing the Throne
Previously: A newly-teenaged Phoebe joined the Paragons and immediately decided that their rules were pointless and dumb. After failing to win over their snobby leader, Siobhan, she hatched a plan to infiltrate from the inside out and knock her down a peg or ten. Because starting a club of her own wouldn't be nearly as fun as wreaking havoc in one that already exists so that she can slide in and take control.
The first phase of Operation Overthrow Siobhan is to chummy up with the other three Paragons members individually to start planting the seeds of rebellion within them. Sergio is the one Phoebe currently knows least, so she decided to target him first.
Phoebe: Hey, you've got muscles, so you must like to work out. Wanna be training buddies?
Salim, get your stupid overprotective ass out of the foreground of this shot and out of Phoebe's life! She's trying to have an important conversation about staging a potential coup in an informal group of snobby, self-centered teens, and it has nothing to do with you!
When Phoebe tried to ask Sergio what he thought of Siobhan and her leadership abilities, he was all, "Oh, I barely know Siobhan. I've never even been to a Paragons gathering. I don't really know anything about them." Clearly, these are all major lies considering he's been a member longer than Phoebe, and if that's not suspicious, I don't know what is. Dude's definitely got something to hide.
While grabbing a snack after a long, hard day at the gym, Phoebe bumped into her stepmom's latest attempt at starting an environmental revolution, which she finds utterly mortifying.
Phoebe: *under her breath* Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me.
Miko: PHOEBE! Is that you sneaking around back there? Pick up a sign and join me! Let's rally up some of your little friends! If anyone needs to learn to care for the environment, it's them.
Phoebe: Ugh, I hope no one catches me doing this. I'm so embarrassed right now.
Luna: Oh, hey, Phoebe! I thought that might be you. What are you even doing out here?
Phoebe: Shit.
Luna: Oh, how fun, Siobhan's here! Let's ask her to join us!
Phoebe: Hi, Siobhan. How delightful to see you. Don't you just look as ravishing as ever?
Siobhan: Thank you, hon. I do try. You certainly look... cute. Yes, cute. That's one way of saying it.
Siobhan: Funny how nobody called to let me know we were meeting up today. Talking shit about me, newbie?
Phoebe: Ha, as if! I would never even consider it. Luna here, on the other hand, definitely has some complaints she wants to voice. Go on, Luna, don't be afraid. We're all friends here.
Siobhan: Yes, Luna. We're all friends. Go on.
Luna: *yawn* This conversation is boring me. Besides, Phoebe is the one who started talking to me about her complaints.
Phoebe: Jesus Christ, do you have no sense of solidarity? I thought we decided we were in this together!
Siobhan: Enough already! Phoebe, you need to get a clue about who really runs this club before I kick you out for real.
Obviously, a massive part of pulling this thing off is keeping up appearances and pretending she's totally down for everything the Paragons stand for. That way, in case the whole turn-everybody-against-Siobhan plot doesn't work, she can play like she's so utterly devoted to the club's beliefs that it doesn't make sense for anyone but her to be its leader.
Anyway, long story short, the Paragons hate the Renegades, which this guy just happens to be a member of. Sorry, bud, but you're going to have to sacrifice your face to improve Phoebe's standing.
Or not. Kind of embarrassing when your dramatic slushy-throwing moment is thwarted because said slushy is just a little too firm.
Renegade Member: Haha! Look at that, loser! You totally missed! Renegades for life!
Seeing as how she's striking out with Sergio and Luna so far, Phoebe decides to work Sofia next. Unfortunately, her mom informed her at the last minute that she had to accompany Nico on his mission to earn an outdoors badge for scouting, so she had to make a few adjustments to their meet-up location.
Phoebe: Listen, I know this isn't ideal because nature is gross and everything, but let's just leave the kid to stare at bushes or whatever for a few hours and find a nice, quiet place to have a real heart-to-heart.
Phoebe: But first let me show you this fucking sweet back flip I just learned.
Hey, if you're trying to get someone on your side, you'd better do whatever it takes to impress them and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that your side is the best side.
Phoebe: Okay, that was fun. Now tell me straight up: Is Siobhan a totally awful leader or what?
Sofia gave the same sort of wishy-washy "Well, I think she seems okay, but then again she's practically a stranger to me" response that Sergio did, and Phoebe is pissed about it.
Phoebe: What, did you guys all go to the same class on how to be unbelievably bad liars? Grow a spine already!
Phoebe: Ugh, it's that stupid Renegades punk again! Better save face by beating him up real quick!
Sofia: Gosh, you really don't have to do that... We don't hate the Renegades that much.
Hey, it's Aahana! Phoebe has definitely been neglecting their friendship a bit lately due to this whole Paragons fixation, and it looks like Aahana is a little down in the dumps about it. Phoebe ran right past without even acknowledging her.
Phoebe: Sorry I didn't see you! I'm kind of buzzing right now! You'll never believe it, but I just beat up a guy!
Aahana: You beat someone up? Oh my...
Aahana: That's actually kind of cool and dare I say... hot.
Afterwards, they all went roller-skating together, Phoebe still in her bikini naturally, and it turns out they're not much better at it than ice-skating. At least they're not caught in the middle of a blizzard this time.
Siobhan: Ugh, gross, someone stinks of dog and nature. Do I even want to know what you've been doing all day?
Luna is still keeping up the mean girls act and siding with Siobhan, but Sofia looks like she could break at any time. The seeds of subordination are slowly being sown.
Phoebe decides to play nice with Siobhan one last time in the hopes that she'll just willingly hand over the Paragons reins and end this, but she's not a good enough actress to hide her obvious glee when Waffle starts terrorizing Siobhan.
Siobhan: Oh my God, your stupid dirty dog just bit me!
Phoebe: Really? That's too bad.
Phoebe: I know we've had our differences, but I think you're super pretty and amazing and nice, and you're definitely going to be famous one day. You're a total star!
Siobhan: Do you really mean it?!?
Phoebe: Of course I mean it! I've only been so awful to you because I'm totally green with envy! In fact, you're way too good for the Paragons. You should take your talents somewhere they'll truly be appreciated.
Siobhan: You're so right! I've done so much for them, and they've never even thanked me! But could I really go solo? It sounds exciting but also terrifying!
Phoebe: Hey, BFF, watch me do this sick dive!
Siobhan: Mmm-hmm, I'm definitely watching...
Look at that form! No splashing in sight. A perfect ten!
Phoebe: You didn't even see it, did you? Where are you going?
Siobhan: Sorry, but I've got better things to do than this little pool party. Like you said, I'm a star in the making. I've got to go call some modeling agencies now.
Salim: At least stay for a taste of my award-winning burgers!
Siobhan: Ugh, burgers?!? Please tell me they're plant-based. I can't stand the thought of putting a harmless animal in my mouth, and, besides, I'm trying to watch my figure. I might have some big opportunities coming up.
Salim: Of course! Did I forget to mention that they're my award-winning veggie burgers? Nothing but the best for my perfect daughter and her amazing friends!
Siobhan: Oh, hold that thought, sir. I just got an email back from an agent who's interested in representing me!
Phoebe: God, both of you are utterly insufferable.
If Phoebe has to mess around with coffee grounds to make a sub-par cappuccino one more time, she will absolutely lose it. This is it. Today is the day. If she doesn't get control over the Paragons now, she's leaving them for pursuits that will actually be a worthwhile use of her time.
Phoebe: *sobs* Guys, you'll never believe it. I had Siobhan over yesterday, and all I wanted to do was make peace with her, but she was so mean to me! I've never felt so abused in my entire life!
Luna: Really? What did she do?
Phoebe: It was so awful, I can't even repeat it. But, trust me, she really unloaded. My dad almost called the cops.
Luna: But that doesn't sound like Siobhan at all...
Siobhan: *senses the shit-talking from a distance and is positively shocked*
Phoebe: Look at her, waltzing around the place with her stupid umbrella and her disgusting cappuccino like she owns it. Don't you just want to give her a taste of her own medicine?
Sofia: Yeah! I mean, I don't hate cappuccino, but she makes us drink the stuff like it's going out of style. I'm wired, like, all the time. I can't even think straight anymore.
Sergio: Fuck cappuccino and fuck you, Siobhan! I feel like I've got coffee beans spilling out of my ears, and I've had enough!
Wow, who knew it would be the inexplicable coffee obsession that took her down? These people feel really strongly about their drink preferences.
Yes, yes, yes! I smell a mutiny!
Phoebe: Listen, Siobhan, the others are too scared to admit it, but I'm not. We think you're a terrible leader, and we need you to step down now. If you don't go willingly, I'm afraid we'll have to throw you out.
Everyone Else: *pretends not to be a part of this in case shit goes south*
Siobhan: You know what, Phoebe? Fine. If you want my club so badly, you can have it. All of this drama is giving me premature worry lines anyway, and I've got a potential modeling career to worry about now.
She kept a brave face during the actual confrontation, but you know she's stomping off to go cry in her bedroom alone. Great. Now I almost feel sorry for her.
Phoebe: And just like that, I became queen.
Don't get too full of yourself now, girl. That was the cause of Siobhan's downfall, and I don't want the same fate to bring about your demise, too.
The first phase of Operation Overthrow Siobhan is to chummy up with the other three Paragons members individually to start planting the seeds of rebellion within them. Sergio is the one Phoebe currently knows least, so she decided to target him first.
Phoebe: Hey, you've got muscles, so you must like to work out. Wanna be training buddies?
Salim, get your stupid overprotective ass out of the foreground of this shot and out of Phoebe's life! She's trying to have an important conversation about staging a potential coup in an informal group of snobby, self-centered teens, and it has nothing to do with you!
When Phoebe tried to ask Sergio what he thought of Siobhan and her leadership abilities, he was all, "Oh, I barely know Siobhan. I've never even been to a Paragons gathering. I don't really know anything about them." Clearly, these are all major lies considering he's been a member longer than Phoebe, and if that's not suspicious, I don't know what is. Dude's definitely got something to hide.
While grabbing a snack after a long, hard day at the gym, Phoebe bumped into her stepmom's latest attempt at starting an environmental revolution, which she finds utterly mortifying.
Phoebe: *under her breath* Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me.
Miko: PHOEBE! Is that you sneaking around back there? Pick up a sign and join me! Let's rally up some of your little friends! If anyone needs to learn to care for the environment, it's them.
Phoebe: Ugh, I hope no one catches me doing this. I'm so embarrassed right now.
Luna: Oh, hey, Phoebe! I thought that might be you. What are you even doing out here?
Phoebe: Shit.
Luna: Oh, how fun, Siobhan's here! Let's ask her to join us!
Phoebe: Hi, Siobhan. How delightful to see you. Don't you just look as ravishing as ever?
Siobhan: Thank you, hon. I do try. You certainly look... cute. Yes, cute. That's one way of saying it.
Siobhan: Funny how nobody called to let me know we were meeting up today. Talking shit about me, newbie?
Phoebe: Ha, as if! I would never even consider it. Luna here, on the other hand, definitely has some complaints she wants to voice. Go on, Luna, don't be afraid. We're all friends here.
Siobhan: Yes, Luna. We're all friends. Go on.
Luna: *yawn* This conversation is boring me. Besides, Phoebe is the one who started talking to me about her complaints.
Phoebe: Jesus Christ, do you have no sense of solidarity? I thought we decided we were in this together!
Siobhan: Enough already! Phoebe, you need to get a clue about who really runs this club before I kick you out for real.
Obviously, a massive part of pulling this thing off is keeping up appearances and pretending she's totally down for everything the Paragons stand for. That way, in case the whole turn-everybody-against-Siobhan plot doesn't work, she can play like she's so utterly devoted to the club's beliefs that it doesn't make sense for anyone but her to be its leader.
Anyway, long story short, the Paragons hate the Renegades, which this guy just happens to be a member of. Sorry, bud, but you're going to have to sacrifice your face to improve Phoebe's standing.
Or not. Kind of embarrassing when your dramatic slushy-throwing moment is thwarted because said slushy is just a little too firm.
Renegade Member: Haha! Look at that, loser! You totally missed! Renegades for life!
Seeing as how she's striking out with Sergio and Luna so far, Phoebe decides to work Sofia next. Unfortunately, her mom informed her at the last minute that she had to accompany Nico on his mission to earn an outdoors badge for scouting, so she had to make a few adjustments to their meet-up location.
Phoebe: Listen, I know this isn't ideal because nature is gross and everything, but let's just leave the kid to stare at bushes or whatever for a few hours and find a nice, quiet place to have a real heart-to-heart.
Phoebe: But first let me show you this fucking sweet back flip I just learned.
Hey, if you're trying to get someone on your side, you'd better do whatever it takes to impress them and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that your side is the best side.
Phoebe: Okay, that was fun. Now tell me straight up: Is Siobhan a totally awful leader or what?
Sofia gave the same sort of wishy-washy "Well, I think she seems okay, but then again she's practically a stranger to me" response that Sergio did, and Phoebe is pissed about it.
Phoebe: What, did you guys all go to the same class on how to be unbelievably bad liars? Grow a spine already!
Phoebe: Ugh, it's that stupid Renegades punk again! Better save face by beating him up real quick!
Sofia: Gosh, you really don't have to do that... We don't hate the Renegades that much.
Hey, it's Aahana! Phoebe has definitely been neglecting their friendship a bit lately due to this whole Paragons fixation, and it looks like Aahana is a little down in the dumps about it. Phoebe ran right past without even acknowledging her.
Phoebe: Sorry I didn't see you! I'm kind of buzzing right now! You'll never believe it, but I just beat up a guy!
Aahana: You beat someone up? Oh my...
Aahana: That's actually kind of cool and dare I say... hot.
Afterwards, they all went roller-skating together, Phoebe still in her bikini naturally, and it turns out they're not much better at it than ice-skating. At least they're not caught in the middle of a blizzard this time.
Siobhan: Ugh, gross, someone stinks of dog and nature. Do I even want to know what you've been doing all day?
Luna is still keeping up the mean girls act and siding with Siobhan, but Sofia looks like she could break at any time. The seeds of subordination are slowly being sown.
Phoebe decides to play nice with Siobhan one last time in the hopes that she'll just willingly hand over the Paragons reins and end this, but she's not a good enough actress to hide her obvious glee when Waffle starts terrorizing Siobhan.
Siobhan: Oh my God, your stupid dirty dog just bit me!
Phoebe: Really? That's too bad.
Phoebe: I know we've had our differences, but I think you're super pretty and amazing and nice, and you're definitely going to be famous one day. You're a total star!
Siobhan: Do you really mean it?!?
Phoebe: Of course I mean it! I've only been so awful to you because I'm totally green with envy! In fact, you're way too good for the Paragons. You should take your talents somewhere they'll truly be appreciated.
Siobhan: You're so right! I've done so much for them, and they've never even thanked me! But could I really go solo? It sounds exciting but also terrifying!
Phoebe: Hey, BFF, watch me do this sick dive!
Siobhan: Mmm-hmm, I'm definitely watching...
Look at that form! No splashing in sight. A perfect ten!
Phoebe: You didn't even see it, did you? Where are you going?
Siobhan: Sorry, but I've got better things to do than this little pool party. Like you said, I'm a star in the making. I've got to go call some modeling agencies now.
Salim: At least stay for a taste of my award-winning burgers!
Siobhan: Ugh, burgers?!? Please tell me they're plant-based. I can't stand the thought of putting a harmless animal in my mouth, and, besides, I'm trying to watch my figure. I might have some big opportunities coming up.
Salim: Of course! Did I forget to mention that they're my award-winning veggie burgers? Nothing but the best for my perfect daughter and her amazing friends!
Siobhan: Oh, hold that thought, sir. I just got an email back from an agent who's interested in representing me!
Phoebe: God, both of you are utterly insufferable.
If Phoebe has to mess around with coffee grounds to make a sub-par cappuccino one more time, she will absolutely lose it. This is it. Today is the day. If she doesn't get control over the Paragons now, she's leaving them for pursuits that will actually be a worthwhile use of her time.
Phoebe: *sobs* Guys, you'll never believe it. I had Siobhan over yesterday, and all I wanted to do was make peace with her, but she was so mean to me! I've never felt so abused in my entire life!
Luna: Really? What did she do?
Phoebe: It was so awful, I can't even repeat it. But, trust me, she really unloaded. My dad almost called the cops.
Luna: But that doesn't sound like Siobhan at all...
Siobhan: *senses the shit-talking from a distance and is positively shocked*
Phoebe: Look at her, waltzing around the place with her stupid umbrella and her disgusting cappuccino like she owns it. Don't you just want to give her a taste of her own medicine?
Sofia: Yeah! I mean, I don't hate cappuccino, but she makes us drink the stuff like it's going out of style. I'm wired, like, all the time. I can't even think straight anymore.
Sergio: Fuck cappuccino and fuck you, Siobhan! I feel like I've got coffee beans spilling out of my ears, and I've had enough!
Wow, who knew it would be the inexplicable coffee obsession that took her down? These people feel really strongly about their drink preferences.
Yes, yes, yes! I smell a mutiny!
Phoebe: Listen, Siobhan, the others are too scared to admit it, but I'm not. We think you're a terrible leader, and we need you to step down now. If you don't go willingly, I'm afraid we'll have to throw you out.
Everyone Else: *pretends not to be a part of this in case shit goes south*
Siobhan: You know what, Phoebe? Fine. If you want my club so badly, you can have it. All of this drama is giving me premature worry lines anyway, and I've got a potential modeling career to worry about now.
She kept a brave face during the actual confrontation, but you know she's stomping off to go cry in her bedroom alone. Great. Now I almost feel sorry for her.
Phoebe: And just like that, I became queen.
Don't get too full of yourself now, girl. That was the cause of Siobhan's downfall, and I don't want the same fate to bring about your demise, too.