Phoebe's World I: We're All Just Living in It
Here it is: the moment Phoebe grabbed hold of me with all of her strength and refused to let go, leaving all other Sims to fall by the wayside. Phoebe, my muse, my queen, my goddess, I live only for you now. You are the One True Sim to prevail over them all. (This is only slightly exaggerated, by the way; I've grown to consider her very dear to my heart and soul.)
As an aside, this has to be the most intricately plotted Sims post I've ever put together, and it took me ages.
Everything started when Phoebe decided to go out on a lark and ask to join the Paragons, who, from everything I can gather, are an exclusive group of snobby, fashionable, status-obsessed teens and young adults. Now this description doesn't entirely fit Phoebe, but, first of all, I didn't fully understand the club's objective when she first joined, and, second of all, I bet she can still have some fun with it anyway. So let's take the plunge!
Phoebe: Oh, you meant literally? Isn't it a little cold for those get-ups? *chuckles nervously* Okay, well, if you insist...
(For future reference, the Paragons are, from left to right, Luna, Sofia, Sergio, and Siobhan.)
Phoebe: So do you guys really wear swimsuits all the time, even when it's say, oh, sub-twenty degrees out?
Club Leader Siobhan: Duh. We are at the pool, after all. Would you really want to be caught dead in inappropriate attire?
Well, she's clearly not going to impress them with logic, so she goes for the next best thing: push-ups!
Obviously, though, they're more interested in dancing right now, so she shows off her sick moves in the hopes of winning them over.
Oh, well, that was easy enough. Honestly, I expected them to be way choosier considering their rep, but Phoebe must just be that amazing. Mission accomplished!
The next day, she invites Aahana, Jane, and her new friend Siobhan to hang out at the park, hoping they'll all become BFFs, but Aahana and Jane don't look too impressed so far. I think they're a little jealous.
On a vaguely related note, can I just reiterate how fucking fierce Jane's style is? Like, if anyone's a real paragon of fashion, it's her with this whole mod sixties housewife thing she's got going on. Accompanied by her ever-present judgmental scowl, it's a truly winning combination.
Phoebe: What the fuck, Jane? This is supposed to be a friendly snowball fight, not a fucking free-for-all at Siobhan's face.
Jane: Oh my God, that was too good! Your turn now.
Aahana: Okay, but that was kind of mean. I think I'm going to aim a little lower.
Jane: Come on, fucking annihilate her!
Siobhan: What is your damage, morons? My hair and makeup are utterly ruined now! I'll be in the bathroom fixing them for hours!
You look fine to me, but okay, girl, whatever you say.
Phoebe once again tries reminding everyone that this fight was supposed to be lighthearted, but I think the damage is already done. Time to try something other than chucking high-velocity balls of ice at one another.
They head to a nearby coffee shop instead, where Salim immediately shows up like the hideously uncool helicopter parent he's become overnight.
Jane: Oh my God, Aahana, don't look now, but Phoebe's loser dad is here. How mortifying.
Phoebe: *mutters under her breath* Oh, what in the fresh hell is going on here?
Phoebe: Daaaaaaad, how great to see you.
Salim: Well, if it isn't the Phoebster herself! Bring it in for some love, girl! I had no idea you'd be here. Want to grab a scone and catch up with the old man?
Phoebe: Oh, Dad, I would love to. Honestly, I'd love to. But I'm here with friends so-
Salim: Invite them to hang with us! The more the merrier!
Phoebe: Okay, sorry, but you're really harshing my vibe. Rain check, though, okay? Love ya! Bye!
Come on, Salim, stop looking so glum! You've got to let your daughter spread her wings a little sometimes. Besides, you've got an amazing wife at home waiting for you. So put down the depression pastries and go to her!
Aahana: Jane, come sit with us. She's not so bad, I swear. I think I kind of like her.
Jane: Ugh, I can't believe you caved, you traitor! I knew you were too soft for this!
Jane: Check out this totally embarrassing photo of Siobhan I found on her mom's Facebook page!
Phoebe: She's, like, five years old there, Jane...
Jane: Yeah, buck naked and totally smeared with peanut butter and jelly. How humiliating, right?
Phoebe: Wow, it's really sad you went out of your way to find this.
Phoebe: So Jane is being a mega bitch today, huh? Did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?
Phoebe: Swimming. *grits teeth* In the pouring rain. Yes, I can totally see the appeal!
The other club members don't seem too happy about it either. Do I sense discord among the ranks?
Phoebe: Oh, shit, did I get the wrong outfit memo? Is today not swimsuit day?
Siobhan: All of you basic bitches better watch out because the Paragons are coming to take over your pool.
Everyone Else: *is totally down for this activity, has no complaints at all, nope, no way*
Phoebe: Ugh, you guys drink this stuff? Voluntarily? Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks it tastes like mud.
Phoebe: Okay, so let me get this straight. Your main activities include swimming, drinking coffee, and trying on outfits? And that's all you do? Have I got that right? *sighs* Okay, well, here I go to pop my clothes modeling cherry, I guess.
Listen, even it takes the best performance of her life pretending she's actually pulling off this preppy abomination, she's going to do it to score an in with these people. There's no turning back now.
Phoebe: Hey, check it out. I was up all night coming up with this totally cool secret handshake for us to do!
Sofia: Oh, sweet, this is awe-
Siobhan: Hon, if anyone's going to be coming up with secret handshakes around here, it's me, and I'm not going to do that because secret handshakes are for losers and freaks. Leave the big decisions to the real leader from now on, okay?
Sofia: Siobhan's right, newbie. Didn't you just join, like, five minutes ago?
Phoebe: Hmm, I thought this was a club, not a dictatorship. Good to know, though. Good to know.
Wow, really rude of these guys to set her up like that by having her try on a literal clown costume and then laughing in her face about it.
Phoebe: I have had it! This is your idea of fun, really? Swimming in the rain, drinking shitty coffee all day, and making your friends put on stupid outfits so you can laugh at them about it? Where's the democracy? Why do you get to decide everything, Siobhan?
Luna: You know, Siobhan, she does have a point...
Siobhan: What point exactly? Because I don't see a single one. All I see is a traitorous newbie who clearly isn't cut out for the elite. I made a mistake letting you join, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah, you did! And now I'm going to make you regret it!
After a good night's sleep, Phoebe felt bad for the way she handled things at the pool house. Siobhan's need for control is certainly a red flag, but Phoebe doesn't want to be hasty in her assessment. Maybe she was just having an off day.
Phoebe: Hey, Siobhan, guess who? Listen, about the other day, I was seriously out of line. But I really do respect what you're doing with the Paragons and want to be a part of it. So let's bury this petty feud, all right? My house. Totally crazy New Year's Eve party. Tonight. What do you say?
Zora: I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom.
Phoebe: Happy New Year, BFF!!!!!
Siobhan: Hmm, I'm not impressed. Has your mom never heard of interior design? And where'd you get that outfit, The Gap? Cute for a twelve-year-old, I guess.
Wow, this girl makes it hard to like her, doesn't she?
It's been a while since Salim made his last utterly embarrassing dad appearance, so here's another to tide you over.
Siobhan: Ugh, gross, you didn't tell me you were inviting fetuses and the elderly to this party.
Phoebe: *under her breath* That is my family, bitch, how dare you?
Jane: Not to say I told you so, buuuuuuuuuut...
Phoebe: A toast to Siobhan, who is totally amazing and and definitely not at all a conceited jerk!
Salim: Wait a minute, where did you guys get those drinks? You're not even old enough to drive yet.
Jane: Give us a break, Mr. Benali. It's New Year's Eve! Live a little!
Oh, this is the final straw, truly. Everyone else is so excited to count down the final seconds before the new year together, and Siobhan can't even be bothered to get off the sofa or show even a glimmer of joy. I'm beginning to think she might be a robot specifically programmed to be as self-centered as possible.
Happy New Year, everybody! Even the caterer and bartender join in! (Actually, I'm kind of annoyed about that because they did very little actual catering or bartending and got paid anyway.)
Jane: New year, new selfie!
A couple days later, while working off all of that holiday feast weight:
Phoebe: Jane, I should've listened to you. You were totally right about Siobhan. She's a major asshole, and she's gotta go. So here's my plan. I infiltrate the Paragons from the inside out, turn everyone against Siobhan, kick her off her high horse, take over, and run the club the way I want to. My first order of business will be letting you guys join. What do you think?
Jane: Ooooooor - and this is a pretty crazy idea, so stick with me - we could just start our own club that does whatever we want and forget we ever met that loser.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, we could do that, but it wouldn't be nearly as fun. Besides, we need to teach her a lesson and get everyone out from under her thumb so they can see what real friendship looks like. Operation Overthrow Siobhan is a go!
Salim, please, do you have to shadow Phoebe everywhere she goes? I get that you're a concerned father, but the last thing you should be doing is pretending to box while secretly listening in as she formulates her dastardly plan. This doesn't involve you!
As an aside, this has to be the most intricately plotted Sims post I've ever put together, and it took me ages.
Everything started when Phoebe decided to go out on a lark and ask to join the Paragons, who, from everything I can gather, are an exclusive group of snobby, fashionable, status-obsessed teens and young adults. Now this description doesn't entirely fit Phoebe, but, first of all, I didn't fully understand the club's objective when she first joined, and, second of all, I bet she can still have some fun with it anyway. So let's take the plunge!
Phoebe: Oh, you meant literally? Isn't it a little cold for those get-ups? *chuckles nervously* Okay, well, if you insist...
(For future reference, the Paragons are, from left to right, Luna, Sofia, Sergio, and Siobhan.)
Phoebe: So do you guys really wear swimsuits all the time, even when it's say, oh, sub-twenty degrees out?
Club Leader Siobhan: Duh. We are at the pool, after all. Would you really want to be caught dead in inappropriate attire?
Well, she's clearly not going to impress them with logic, so she goes for the next best thing: push-ups!
Obviously, though, they're more interested in dancing right now, so she shows off her sick moves in the hopes of winning them over.
Oh, well, that was easy enough. Honestly, I expected them to be way choosier considering their rep, but Phoebe must just be that amazing. Mission accomplished!
The next day, she invites Aahana, Jane, and her new friend Siobhan to hang out at the park, hoping they'll all become BFFs, but Aahana and Jane don't look too impressed so far. I think they're a little jealous.
On a vaguely related note, can I just reiterate how fucking fierce Jane's style is? Like, if anyone's a real paragon of fashion, it's her with this whole mod sixties housewife thing she's got going on. Accompanied by her ever-present judgmental scowl, it's a truly winning combination.
Phoebe: What the fuck, Jane? This is supposed to be a friendly snowball fight, not a fucking free-for-all at Siobhan's face.
Jane: Oh my God, that was too good! Your turn now.
Aahana: Okay, but that was kind of mean. I think I'm going to aim a little lower.
Jane: Come on, fucking annihilate her!
Siobhan: What is your damage, morons? My hair and makeup are utterly ruined now! I'll be in the bathroom fixing them for hours!
You look fine to me, but okay, girl, whatever you say.
Phoebe once again tries reminding everyone that this fight was supposed to be lighthearted, but I think the damage is already done. Time to try something other than chucking high-velocity balls of ice at one another.
They head to a nearby coffee shop instead, where Salim immediately shows up like the hideously uncool helicopter parent he's become overnight.
Jane: Oh my God, Aahana, don't look now, but Phoebe's loser dad is here. How mortifying.
Phoebe: *mutters under her breath* Oh, what in the fresh hell is going on here?
Phoebe: Daaaaaaad, how great to see you.
Salim: Well, if it isn't the Phoebster herself! Bring it in for some love, girl! I had no idea you'd be here. Want to grab a scone and catch up with the old man?
Phoebe: Oh, Dad, I would love to. Honestly, I'd love to. But I'm here with friends so-
Salim: Invite them to hang with us! The more the merrier!
Phoebe: Okay, sorry, but you're really harshing my vibe. Rain check, though, okay? Love ya! Bye!
Come on, Salim, stop looking so glum! You've got to let your daughter spread her wings a little sometimes. Besides, you've got an amazing wife at home waiting for you. So put down the depression pastries and go to her!
Aahana: Jane, come sit with us. She's not so bad, I swear. I think I kind of like her.
Jane: Ugh, I can't believe you caved, you traitor! I knew you were too soft for this!
Jane: Check out this totally embarrassing photo of Siobhan I found on her mom's Facebook page!
Phoebe: She's, like, five years old there, Jane...
Jane: Yeah, buck naked and totally smeared with peanut butter and jelly. How humiliating, right?
Phoebe: Wow, it's really sad you went out of your way to find this.
Phoebe: So Jane is being a mega bitch today, huh? Did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?
Phoebe: Swimming. *grits teeth* In the pouring rain. Yes, I can totally see the appeal!
The other club members don't seem too happy about it either. Do I sense discord among the ranks?
Phoebe: Oh, shit, did I get the wrong outfit memo? Is today not swimsuit day?
Siobhan: All of you basic bitches better watch out because the Paragons are coming to take over your pool.
Everyone Else: *is totally down for this activity, has no complaints at all, nope, no way*
Phoebe: Ugh, you guys drink this stuff? Voluntarily? Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks it tastes like mud.
Phoebe: Okay, so let me get this straight. Your main activities include swimming, drinking coffee, and trying on outfits? And that's all you do? Have I got that right? *sighs* Okay, well, here I go to pop my clothes modeling cherry, I guess.
Listen, even it takes the best performance of her life pretending she's actually pulling off this preppy abomination, she's going to do it to score an in with these people. There's no turning back now.
Phoebe: Hey, check it out. I was up all night coming up with this totally cool secret handshake for us to do!
Sofia: Oh, sweet, this is awe-
Siobhan: Hon, if anyone's going to be coming up with secret handshakes around here, it's me, and I'm not going to do that because secret handshakes are for losers and freaks. Leave the big decisions to the real leader from now on, okay?
Sofia: Siobhan's right, newbie. Didn't you just join, like, five minutes ago?
Phoebe: Hmm, I thought this was a club, not a dictatorship. Good to know, though. Good to know.
Wow, really rude of these guys to set her up like that by having her try on a literal clown costume and then laughing in her face about it.
Phoebe: I have had it! This is your idea of fun, really? Swimming in the rain, drinking shitty coffee all day, and making your friends put on stupid outfits so you can laugh at them about it? Where's the democracy? Why do you get to decide everything, Siobhan?
Luna: You know, Siobhan, she does have a point...
Siobhan: What point exactly? Because I don't see a single one. All I see is a traitorous newbie who clearly isn't cut out for the elite. I made a mistake letting you join, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah, you did! And now I'm going to make you regret it!
After a good night's sleep, Phoebe felt bad for the way she handled things at the pool house. Siobhan's need for control is certainly a red flag, but Phoebe doesn't want to be hasty in her assessment. Maybe she was just having an off day.
Phoebe: Hey, Siobhan, guess who? Listen, about the other day, I was seriously out of line. But I really do respect what you're doing with the Paragons and want to be a part of it. So let's bury this petty feud, all right? My house. Totally crazy New Year's Eve party. Tonight. What do you say?
Zora: I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom.
Phoebe: Happy New Year, BFF!!!!!
Siobhan: Hmm, I'm not impressed. Has your mom never heard of interior design? And where'd you get that outfit, The Gap? Cute for a twelve-year-old, I guess.
Wow, this girl makes it hard to like her, doesn't she?
It's been a while since Salim made his last utterly embarrassing dad appearance, so here's another to tide you over.
Siobhan: Ugh, gross, you didn't tell me you were inviting fetuses and the elderly to this party.
Phoebe: *under her breath* That is my family, bitch, how dare you?
Jane: Not to say I told you so, buuuuuuuuuut...
Phoebe: A toast to Siobhan, who is totally amazing and and definitely not at all a conceited jerk!
Salim: Wait a minute, where did you guys get those drinks? You're not even old enough to drive yet.
Jane: Give us a break, Mr. Benali. It's New Year's Eve! Live a little!
Oh, this is the final straw, truly. Everyone else is so excited to count down the final seconds before the new year together, and Siobhan can't even be bothered to get off the sofa or show even a glimmer of joy. I'm beginning to think she might be a robot specifically programmed to be as self-centered as possible.
Happy New Year, everybody! Even the caterer and bartender join in! (Actually, I'm kind of annoyed about that because they did very little actual catering or bartending and got paid anyway.)
Jane: New year, new selfie!
A couple days later, while working off all of that holiday feast weight:
Phoebe: Jane, I should've listened to you. You were totally right about Siobhan. She's a major asshole, and she's gotta go. So here's my plan. I infiltrate the Paragons from the inside out, turn everyone against Siobhan, kick her off her high horse, take over, and run the club the way I want to. My first order of business will be letting you guys join. What do you think?
Jane: Ooooooor - and this is a pretty crazy idea, so stick with me - we could just start our own club that does whatever we want and forget we ever met that loser.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, we could do that, but it wouldn't be nearly as fun. Besides, we need to teach her a lesson and get everyone out from under her thumb so they can see what real friendship looks like. Operation Overthrow Siobhan is a go!
Salim, please, do you have to shadow Phoebe everywhere she goes? I get that you're a concerned father, but the last thing you should be doing is pretending to box while secretly listening in as she formulates her dastardly plan. This doesn't involve you!